


Joker's Wild —[HIATUS]

by crystymre



Series: The Balance Between Light and Dark [2]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Corruption, Darkness, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Flashbacks, Former Cayde-6/Female Guardian, Game: Destiny 2: Beyond Light DLC, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Inappropriate Use of Light (Destiny), Isolation, Night Terrors, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redemption, Revenge, Rough Sex, Self-Sacrifice, The Sundial (Destiny), Time Travel, Trust Issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24087877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystymre/pseuds/crystymre
Summary: Following the death of Cayde-6 the Vanguard begins to fracture. With the ever-present threat of the Darkness on the horizon and the sudden reappearance of Uldren Sov, Terin's loyalties and patience are tested. Turning to the least likely of allies she sets course to undo what has already been done.
Relationships: The Drifter/Female Guardian (Destiny)
Series: The Balance Between Light and Dark [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1832497
Comments: 25
Kudos: 82





	1. Eli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 Dec 20: Currently editing these chapters to make my story conform to canon. Ignore the discrepancies for now, I aim to have this somewhat sorted by tomorrow.
> 
> 4 Dec 20: Pretty sure I caught most of what I needed to edit. If you see anything obvious please feel free to drop into my dm's on twt @crystymre. I will delete this note once I am 100% certain that my plot is as "canon compliant" as possible.

_You're choosin' to walk with a monster. Monsters survive. People change. Priorities change._

_-The Drifter_

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

“Another round?”

Cobalt eyes looked up from the sticky bar, glossed over and swimming in the dim lighting of the dive. “What’d’you think?” The Drifter nudged his glass closer to the barkeep. 

“What’s got you in here on a Monday?” he asked, pouring the ether-concentrate into the empty rocks glass.

He scratched the dark stubble on his chin eyeing the contraband liquor, thankful that some rogue Lightbearer like himself had thought to ask the Eliskni for their recipe before blowing off their Archon’s head. Getting drunk with a millennia’s worth of tolerance under your belt was a hard feat, the ether mixture expedited the process.

“Why do you care?” he asked, always curious about those who were curious about him.

The bartender shrugged. “Bored.” The place was completely empty, save a couple of Exo’s playing cards in the corner. The Drifter had thought to join in, but knew the one to be a terrible cheat -and there can only be one of those at a table.

“Enjoy it while you can. Festival of the Lost starts tomorrow,” he laughed at the annual celebration. “Every Kinderguardian in the system is gonna flood this place.”

He grunted. “Don’t remind me. Always some holiday, some kind of festival, up in that Tower.”

“Meant to distract them. Make ‘em think the Vanguard’s on their side,” he swirled the iridescent drink in his cup slowly. “Let’s Big Blue look like a hero while his Guardians pull all the weight.”

“No one does bitter better than the Drifter,” the bartender smiled.

“Don’t act like you know me,” he snapped. “And for the record, I ain't bitter. Imma realist.”

“You,” the bartender pointed at him, “ _a_ _re_ bitter. And sad.”

“Woah, woah, woah. I definitely ain’t sad,” he said defensively, his lip snarling above a weary expression.

“Says the guy drowning himself in ether.”

“Yeah,” he brought the glass to his lips, feeling the way the mixture burned as it traveled across his tongue. “If you knew what was comin’ you’d be drinkin’ too.”

“What? Or who?”

“Eh?”

“Who’s the chick?” the bartender cut straight to the point. 

“Excuse you?”

“Or guy, I don’t judge,” he shrugged. “Guys like you only drink like this when their feelings are hurt. Someone stepped out on em. Or died. Either way.”

“Guys like me, huh?” Drifter set his glass down, leaning in to get a better look at the bartender, right hand on the hand cannon tucked in his belt.

“Rogues. Renegades. Scoundrels.”

He sat back, letting out an amused huff as his posture relaxed. “Scoundrel,” he mused. “Aint heard that one in a minute.”

“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been called you reckon?” 

He smirked. “Old man.”

“Really?” the bartender asked, confused.

“Hurt my ego,” he admitted, reaching to take another drink.

“And you let em live?” the bartender joked.

“Like anyone could take her out.”

“So it is a _her_?”

The Drifter weighed the merits of telling the man, knowing that it wouldn’t matter come morning. "She’s…” he shook his head, cutting himself off with a sip.

“What?”

The Drifter leaned forward, a smirk on his face. “You wouldn’t believe me even if I told ya.”

* * *

_“Who are you?”_

_He had felt her energy_ _before he heard her voice, looking up to spot an unassuming hunter who had wandered into his wretched corner of the new Tower. She hadn’t been the first Guardian to drop in, rumor of his presence spreading through the place like wildfire. But that had been the point, hadn’t it? Malphur had him exactly where he wanted him, or so he thought, caged with the ever-watchful Vanguard as he acted as human bait for the Shadows._

_“I’m the Drifter, Sister,” he responded, stepping toward her to get a better look._

_He felt something in him shift, an ancient energy flaring at her proximity, causing the air to crackle._

**_The hell?_ ** _he asked himself, shrugging it off._

_“The Drifter?” she asked incredulously, crossing her arms. “What kind of name is that?”_

_“The less you know, the better, Sweetness,” he gave his standing response, practically feeling her eyes narrow through her helmet at the pet name._

_He took appraisal of her small frame, decked out in Dead Orbit armor and shaders._ **_Kinderguardian_** _, he thought to himself. One of the recent rash of rezzes that had taken place as he drifted about the system’s edge. Judging by her stance she was likely a Crucible player, something simple like Mayhem or Control._

 _Not that Crucible players didn’t have a place in Gambit, he just needed them to have teeth. Something he doubted_ **_this_** _G_ _uardian had. All bark. No bite. “I’m your new Gambit vendor,” he announced with a smug sense of satisfaction, hoping that maybe she’d tell the Titans or more seasoned Guardian’s on whatever fireteam that had been carrying her._

_“Gambit?”_

_He proceeded to explain the competition, how it worked, the purpose of invading… that fact alone either discouraged or intrigued most of the Guardians that stopped by to see him. “So, whaddya say?” he asked, willing to bet that she’d say no._

_The Guardian paused. “No thanks.”_

_“Not up to the challenge…?” he teased, purely to see if he could get a rise out of her before she flitted about her way._

_“No. Just seems like I’m doing you a favor.”_

_He paused, caught off guard by the blunt comment. The H_ _unter turned to leave. “There’s loot,” he called out, trying not to seem desperate, curious how such a young Guardian was already so jaded._

_“Don’t need it.”_

_What did she mean she didn’t need it?_

**_Everybody_ ** _needed it._

_“Cash reward…” he tried to tempt her._

_“I’m good.” With that she ducked under the linked barrier, disappearing into the Tower._

_‘Who the fuck was that?’ he asked himself long after she left, his adrenaline taking longer to settle than it should have._

* * *

“Wait, wait, wait,” the bartender cut in. “You’re here drowning your sorrows because some Guardian didn’t want to play your game three years ago?”

“Not just _some G_ uardian,” the Drifter smiled, letting the burn of the ether-concentrate numb his feelings. 

* * *

_“What are you doing?”_

_The Drifter turned, spotting the Warlock Vanguard standing beside him, face as serene and stoic as ever. “Miss Ikora Rey,” he greeted her as politely as he could manage, knowing she was there to harass him with her own special breed of passive-aggressive condescension._

_“You’re not in your hole,” she observed, minding the rush of Guardians busily bustling in the courtyard below._

_“Figured I’d get some fresh air,” he stretched, catching the glare cast his direction from Zavala below._

_“I’m sure,” she rolled her eyes. “Saladin will be here soon. I expect he’ll want his spot to be vacant.”_

_“Iron Banner already?” he asked with an edge to his voice._

_“Mmm, the Tower is a buzz in anticipation,” she smiled. “How’s Gambit?” she asked with only the smallest hint of cynicism._

_“Doin’ alright,” he exhaled. Out of the corner of his eye he caught the Guardian that had rebuffed him weeks earlier emerging from the tunnels that led to the Hangar. “Hey, who’s that?” he asked, gesturing in her general direction. She was surrounded by a fireteam, hers presumably: two Warlocks, three Titans._

_“The Hunter?” Ikora asked, somehow not needing the specifics of_ **_which_ **_her._

_“Yeah.”_

_Ikora smiled. “Maybe you’ve been in that hole too long,” she mused._

_“You gonna tell me who she is?” he asked as the Warlock made her way toward the steps._

_“That’s_ **_the_** _G_ _uardian,” she smiled coyly over her shoulder. “The God Slayer.”_

_All at once, the ramen he had eaten earlier hit his stomach. He’d heard her stories, the accomplishments she pulled off when he was out of the system. Crota, Omnigul, Skolas, SIVA. A living legend… and he had called her Sweetness. Her name was whispered in every back alley and dive bar from Mercury to the outer edges of the heliosphere._

_He watched as she and her fireteam disappeared beneath him,_ **_felt_ ** _her as she hovered near Banshee’s workbench. He was never one to buy into titles and stories… but he could recognize power for what it was. Somehow, she had blind-sighted him._

* * *

“Terin?” the bartender asked with a laugh. “How did you not know who _Terin_ was? _Everyone_ knows who she is!”

“How was I supposed to know? Not exactly like we stitch our names on our armor,” the Drifter defended himself with an indignant look.

“Right, but it’s _Terin_.”

“How is it everyone knows her and how to pronounce that goofy-ass name? _Tear-in_ ,” he drew out her name phonetically.

“Aetheon, Crota, Oryx--”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Chosen One. The Golden Girl. Slayer of Gods and any who would defy the Vanguard. Got it."

“So you’re here drinking because you were upset that Terin didn’t want to play Gambit?”

“You really think I’m the kinda guy to worry himself over that? Nah, I made peace with the fact that I misjudged her. I’m sure I’m not the first guy and I’m sure I won’t be the last.”

“So?”

“So…”

* * *

_“_ _Hey, Sister,” the Drifter called out, following Terin through the courtyard early one morning. She stopped, turning to face him, helmet once again masking her expression.“Word is, you’re the God Slayer,” he smirked, noting the way his Light spiked in her presence._

_She shrugged. She was no longer wearing her faction duds. Instead, she was covered head to toe in Shaxx’s classic red and white. Typically he found the bright and flashy shaders to be an eyesore, particularly on Hunters who were supposed to be known for their stealth. Yet somehow on her…_

_“Sparrow racing champion,” he began to list off her accolades, Amanda more than willing to gossip about her friend as she gave him an earful on how the competition needed to come back for morale's sake._

_She crossed her arms, head tilting._

_He gestured to her armor. “Assumin’ you’re one of Shaxx’s champions too.”_

_“Suppose so.”_

_“Even made a few trips to the Lighthouse--” Brother Vance had done nothing but complain about Terin when asked, which had been refreshing at first but eventually the Drifter found himself bored as the apostle droned on and on about Osiris._

_“Do you have a point?”_

_“You’re a jack of all trades,” he paused. “The best at everything you do…”_

_“Is this because I haven’t played your silly little game?” she asked bluntly, taking a step toward him. The air bristled, energy shooting to his fingertips as though it were trying to reach out._

_He ground his teeth, keeping his face as passive as possible, pushing the sensation of her proximity to the back of his mind. “I won’t lie to ya, I feel a bit offended. Saladin arrives and you flock to him for random roles on mediocre weapons.”_

_“Saladin and I go back,” she answered simply. “I_ **_know_ ** _him. I don’t know you.”_

_“You just rezzed six years ago. How could you possibly have history with him?” He heard how the words sounded the second they left his lips._

_Terin took another half step towards him, reaching up to remove her helmet. Long blonde locks fell free, a human face greeting him with a smug smile that set him on edge. Her features were sharp, hardened from the trials of her short life. He swallowed at the sight of her full lips and trembled in the wake of her mercury gaze._ _“You sound jealous,” she crooned, silver eyes flashing. “Old man,” the words shot through him._

 _He’d certainly been called worse._ _Rationally he knew he shouldn't take offense, given that it wasn’t entirely inaccurate, but part of him didn’t care for her thinking of him as… old; especially when she looked so… young._

 _Among the rumors and gossip he soaked up over card games and darts he’d heard the brave soul or two describe how attractive she was. A handful of Hunters were bold enough to compare her to the Queen of the Awoken. Bolder yet were the ones who had a running pool to see which way her_ **_preferences_** _lie._

_Idiots, all of them.  
_

_In that moment, though, he sincerely hoped the Y chromosome was among them._

**_Well, fuck._ **

_He blinked. “You wanna talk bout old,” he scoffed, trying to play it cool. "Ol' Saladin--"_

_“For someone who has been asking around about me, I would have expected you to figure out why they call me Young Wolf,” she thrust her hand to her hip; her shapely_ ** _round_ ** _hips… “You could track down Lady Efrideet to verify if you’d like. Heard you two have quite the history.”_

 **_This sassy little_ ** _\-- he reigned in his temper, determined to keep his cool persona. “Looks like I’m not the only one that’s been fact-checking, Sweetness,” he smirked, somehow flattered that she’d cared enough to look into his past._

 _“Stay in your lane,_ **Wu Ming** ,” she spun, thrusting her helmet back on.

_Beside him, Banshee chuckled. “Best not piss her off. Second fastest shot in the system. Handy with those throwing knives too.”_

* * *

“Okay,” the bartender shook his head with a laugh. “So you called her out. She told you off. Then what?”

“Then came the Dawning,” the Drifter downed his drink. 

* * *

_He sat at the top of the Tower at dusk, watching as snow glittered down onto the courtyard. Guardians ran to and fro, exchanging gifts while Zavala grinned as though he were Saint Nicholas of millenia’s past._

_“Didn’t take you for the sort to like festivals,” Ikoras voice came from behind him, her footsteps as silent as ever._

_“Can’t say I am,” he admitted, hiding his flask in his coat jacket._

_“The Guardians appreciate it, I think. Celebrations like this keep us human.”_

_“Is that what we are?” he scoffed._

_“Has it ever occurred to you that your distrust for everything will do you more harm than good?”_

_“Has it ever occurred to_ **_you_ ** _that your_ **_blind_ ** _trust is gonna get yourself killed?” he bit back._

_“Yes,” she replied simply before pausing. “Being without my Light… humbled me.”_

_The Drifter chuckled. “Ikora Rey, known system-wide for her wisdom and humility.”_

_“In a single evening an unseen enemy broke our defenses,” she continued, ignoring his comment. “And with a single push of a button, they took away everything we’ve ever known.”_

_“Lucky you, you had your famous Guardian.”_

_“Lucky_ **_us_ ** _,” Ikora corrected. “But will we be so lucky next time? When the Darkness comes?”_

_The Drifter said nothing, keeping his thoughts and opinions on the subject to himself._

_“We distract the Guardians from the reality of what we are, of what we must do, with festivals and holidays. Shaxx and Saladin do their parts And you do in your own way I suppose.”_

_“Was that a compliment?”_

_“No.”_

_The Drifter looked down, energy pulling slightly toward the direction of the Hangar. Andal Brask’s old cloak appeared. Its wearer, Cayde-6, emerged holding hands with none other than Terin. He blinked twice, realizing what it implied. An uncomfortable feeling he was certain he hadn’t felt in centuries crept into his chest._

**_Wonder if that Warlock ever collected the betting pool?_ **

_“You didn't know,” Ikora said softly, her eyes trained on the pair as they stopped to kiss beneath the mistletoe that hung from strings of lights._

_“Now why would I care?” He watched Terin smile, nose to faceplate with the Hunter Vanguard. He was saying_ **_something_ ** _to her, the orange lights in the hollows of his cheeks lighting up._

_“Because you like her,” she answered as he made out the words on Terin’s lips: ‘I love you too.’_

_The Drifter side-eyed Ikora with a resentful glare at the insinuation._

_“My Hidden are everywhere,” she explained. “You’ve been watching Terin for months now.”_

_He scoffed, his attention back on the couple below them, playfully lobbing snowballs at one another._

_There was no point in denying the truth. It had been indignation turned fixation. And now as the ache of jealousy hit him, he realized that Ikora was right. He_ **_hated_ ** _when she was right._

_At first, he had rationalized it. His heart beat, he had needs. She just happened to stir those needs. It was the easiest explanation for the things he **felt**... tendrils of something as ancient as the orb in the sky they all worshiped._

_But the more he watched, the more he learned, the more he_ **_needed_ ** _to know._

 _He’d become almost obsessive, going as far as pestering Banshee and Hawthorne about it. The more he learned the more he discovered just how_ **_unlike_ ** _the Vanguard she was; how she never asked permission nor sought forgiveness for blatantly defying Zavala’s command._

 _Of course, she wasn’t conquering the system alone, she had her fireteam: all legends in their own right. But none of them were_ **her**. _She was reckless, a throw-all-caution-to-the-wind breath of fresh air. Exactly his type; making him think and feel things he’d thought long dormant since Orin._

_And she wanted nothing to do with him._

**_It was for the best_ ** _, he told himself -repeatedly. He wasn’t there to entangle his mess of a life with someone else's, let alone the Vanguard’s Savior Guardian. She was a distraction and he was bad news._

_Didn’t stop the inexplicable draw toward her anytime their paths crossed in the Tower, the way his very being surged to try to meet hers if she so much as shot him a passing glance._

_His only small mercy was that she had no interest in him or Gambit, which was fine by him. The further away she was the better it was for the both of them._

_“It’s nothing to be ashamed about,” Ikora assured him. “She’s caught almost everyone’s attention. Amanda. Devrim. Shiro… But Cayde--”_

_“Is Cayde,” he finished, understanding fully what she meant. The Hunter was unparalleled: charismatic, lovable, the fastest shot in the system… he suddenly remembered Banshee’s words._

_“They’ve been seeing each other since Oryx. Something about stealing Eris’ ship,” she laughed softly. “They’re happy.”_

_That much was evident as Cayde spun Terin around, dancing to an unheard song beneath the Dawning decor. As long as he had known Cayde he’d never seen him so happy, pulling Terin close to kiss her once more._

_“Good for them,” he said at last, standing to leave._

* * *

The bartender was practically rolling with laughter. “You! You had a crush on her!” A tear ran down the man's face. “The Drifter fell for the Golden Girl with the Golden Gun,” his fist slammed on the bar top in a fit of hysterics. 

“Find it _real_ funny, don’t ya?” The Drifter reached and snatched the bottle of ether concentrate from behind the bar to pour himself another drink. “Did ya forget the part where Cayde dies?” 

* * *

_The news hit hard. Not just the Tower but the entire city. The entire system. Silence fell over the Vanguard when Petra and Terin pulled Cayde’s lifeless body from her ship._

_Time seemed to stop. Gambit, Crucible, Strike missions were all halted to mourn. Recons and patrols were called back to the city. Every Guardian within the system returned home to pay their respects, black flags flying for the better part of three weeks._

_Terin had stayed long enough for the funeral; she, Ikora, and Zavala having reportedly argued matters of vengeance before she disappeared. The Titan withdrew to his office, Ikora remaining silent._

_The Drifter had caught a glimpse of Terin prior to her departure, her ship being packed with extra supplies by Amanda. Cold, hard, determined. Other Guardians seemingly cowered in her wake, no one daring to approach her._

_Wherever Uldren was, he was a dead man._

_Another month went by before Terin reappeared. Rumors had floated through the Towers of her having allied with the Spider. Of Ahamkara. Of the Dreaming City. He had no desire for adventure but was admittedly curious where her hunt had taken her._

_Zavala waited anxiously, news of her arrival traveling from the Hangar comms to the entirety of the Tower faster than wildfire. The Drifter had perched on the catwalk above, Eva and Rahool seemingly holding their breath._

_Terin transmatted in, wearing the armor of the Tangled Shore, carrying Ace. She made a direct line for Banshee, who the Drifter swore he saw grinning. She slammed the hand cannon down on his workbench. “Fix it.”_

_Before Zavala could speak she stormed off, Andal’s cloak sweeping the ground as she went._

_The crack in the Vanguard split further that day._

* * *

“Place hasn’t been the same since. Monday night like this, place would be packed with Hunters. Now, they’re all fleeing. Fear of the Vanguard Dare.”

“Most ran to the Shore. Or the Dreaming City after ol’ Petra opened up those trade routes. Big Blue was pissed.”

“Why?”

“He has no authority there. Vanguard don't mean shit to pirates and Techeuns. It’s why he made Ada open up shop, reignited the forges. Also why he convinced the Consensus to let me host Prime, finally. He needed to lure them all back in.”

“Did it work?”

* * *

_“_ _Prime?”_

_Terin’s power had given her away before her voice had, him having almost forgotten what her presence felt like in her absence. The Drifter looked up, still putting his stuff away in his new space in the annex. “Well, well. Look who it is. Thought you might’ve fled the system.” He’d hoped, but he knew better._

_“Now where’d you hear that?” Terin asked, a hint of amusement in her voice._

_“Lotta things being said about you, Sweetness. Heard rumor you defected, became the Spider’s new consort,” he smirked. A shudder visibly ran through her as her face twisted. “Coincidentally I heard the same story in the **same** bar, but you were shackin’ up with Petra.” _

_A smile split her face. “At least_ **_that’s_ ** _more believable. I’d take her over the Spider any day.”_

_“Thank you for that **fantastic** mental image,” he wraggled his brows. “So where have ya been?” he asked with idle curiosity. _

_“Hunting.”_

_“What?”_

_“Who,” she corrected, walking around the space he was setting up, fingers running across the glass of his mote bank._

_“Hunting, who?” he asked again, watching her. He had sworn to let his fixation with her die after Cayde’s death. Out of respect to the Hunter and himself. Obsessing over someone he knew wouldn’t want him was one thing. But skeezing after the woman in mourning… he’d hit low a few times but he wasn’t that despicable._

_“Come’on Wu, you know information is valuable.”_

_“Eli,” he said instinctively, hating himself the minute the name slipped from his lips. The last thing he needed was her getting closer to him. Terin stopped, silver eyes illuminated by the motes. Loose hairs from her braid framed her face, creating a nearly angelic glow. He swallowed._ _“_ _Wu was a dark time. If you’re gonna call me anything, make it Eli,” he said honestly._

_She shrugged, dropping her hand from the glass. “I want in on Prime.”_

_“Thought it was a silly little game?”_

_“Yes, well, I need a distraction--”_

_“Thought you were hunting?”_

_“I can do both.”_

_“I’m sure you can. What I wanna know is_ **_why_ ** _.”_

_Terin sighed. “The Sundial… the corridors… they play with your mind. Osiris suggested I take some time off to recharge.”_

_“Workin for Osiris?” he chuckled, having been made aware of that fact by his own spies weeks before. “Sure you haven’t defected?”_

_She smirked, stepping back into the platform. “You’re not selling me on your **little game**_ ,” _she challenged._

_“Prime ain’t no **game** , Sister. You wanna recharge? I recommend Nessus. Heard they got beautiful waterfalls.” _

_She stepped toward him, close enough that he could_ **_smell_ ** _her. Fuck she smelled good._ ** _Get a grip_ ** _.“You gonna let me play or not?”_

_“Fine,” he held up his hands in surrender. “Who am I to deny the God Slayer?”_

_Terin rolled her eyes at the accolade. “Show me your bounties.”_

_“Bossy little thing, ain’t ya? You treat all the vendors like this?”_

_“Nope. Just the delinquents.”_

_The Drifter laughed. “Tell you what. You go play a match and prove to me that you can_ **_handle_ ** _it. Then we’ll talk bounties.”_

_“You want me to prove I can kill the same shit I’ve been defending everyone from for nearly six years now?”_

_“Yep.”_

_Her eyes narrowed, something flashing behind them. “How about we bet on it?”_

_“On_ **_my_ ** _game?” he asked, curious and skeptical._

_“Yes.”_

_“I’m listening.”_

_“I kill twice the number of your best player--”_

_“You’ve never played--”_

_“Can it be done?” she cut him off._

_“Gambit is a_ **_team_ ** _sport.”_

_“Doesn’t answer my question.”_

_“Impossible? No. Improbable? Highly.”_

_“Then the odds seem to be in your favor, don’t they?”_

_“Alright,” he leaned back against the railing, needing to get away from the scent of pine and cloves that was assaulting his senses. “Let’s say you double the highest kill count, which is about eighty-five, what’d ya want?”_

_“Best gun you have in your loot cache.”_

_“Not a chance in hell,” he flicked the jade coin into the bowl across from him. ”Even if you_ **_could_ ** _take out that many enemies there’s no way I’d let you just have it. You’ve gotta_ **_earn_ ** _my loot, Sweetness.”_

_“170 kills isn’t enough?”_

_“No way.”_

_“Fine. 170 enemies and lets say... 20 invasion kills?”_

_The Drifter paused, knowing that she knew more than what she was letting on. For someone who had never played, she was quick with her terminology. “What do I get when you fail?”_

_“500k?” she shrugged._

_“A million,” might as well make the deal lucrative._

_“Deal.”_

* * *

“So who won?” the bartender asked. 

The Drifter scoffed. “She did. Of course. 173 kills and 24 Guardians. Real pain in the ass to commentate that match. That girl had me shouttin’ like Shaxx when they let him host Trials.”

“Did you give her the gun?”

“Didn’t have much of a choice did I? Can’t let people think I don’t pay my debts.”

* * *

_“Not bad,” Terin said, staring down the sights of her new Nameless Midnight. “No Hung Jury--”_

_“Hey now. Don’t go comparing my scout rifle to that relic,” he chastised her from a safe distance._

_“I’ll see if I can have Banshee swap out some of these specs. Add a few mods.”_

_“She has outlaw and demolitionist!” he nearly cried, pushing off the railing. “What more do ya need?”_

_A smile that only the foolish wouldn’t fear split her face. “Firefly.”_

**_This woman…_ **

* * *

“She took down Oryx with a Hung Jury,” the bartender stated. “That and a Whisper--”

“You her fanboy?” The Drifter cut him off.

“They’re framed in the Hall of Heroes.”

“Of course they are,” he rolled his eyes. 

“So you got her to play Gambit. Did she come back?”

“Every. Day.”

* * *

_“Anyone ever tell you there’s such a thing as too much of a good thing?” he asked her one day as she turned in her weekly bounties. She was the only player to never count her glimmer, blindly trusting him to pay her in full. He’d made a note to not look too deep into that one, convincing himself that she was flush from saving the System._

_Terin eyed him skeptically. “You believe that?”_

_“Depends what that good thing is,” he smirked. He watched as she inspected her loot, quickly discarding most of it, slowly picking up on her idiosyncrasies._

_After losses, her eyes were grey and dark, like wet concrete. But after wins her eyes practically glowed, the silver luminescent in his dingey hole in the annex._

_When she was deep in thought her brows would furrow, a small line drawn between them. Every now and again he’d catch her biting her bottom lip, certain she was doing it to torment him._

_Recently she had begun unconsciously tucking her hair behind her ears, the groomed cut she’d kept while Cayde was alive had grown into an unruly mess; a mess he’d imagined running his hands through more than once._

_“Thought you were supposed to be hunting someone?” he asked, breaking himself free of fantasies he knew would never come to pass._

_“I did.”_

_“Kill em?”_

_“Saved him.”_

_“Am I allowed to ask who, now? Or is it some kind of Vanguard secret?”_

_“Won’t be a secret tomorrow,” she shrugged. “You remember Saint-14.”_

_He practically choked. “What?”_

_“Took a while, time being all wibbly-wobbly. He’s been with Osiris and the Consensus for the past week--”_

_This was news to him. “Wait. So that batshit--”_

_“Genius.”_

_“Batshit,” he stood by his choice of words, “Warlock managed to bring back the dead?”_

_“The lost,” Terin explained._

_He paused, the weight of what had been done -what_ **_she_ ** _had done, sinking in. If they could bring one Guardian back from the dead… “Could he--?” Terin shook her head no. “Why not?”_

_“Cayde died in the Prison,” she stated, void of emotion._

_“So?”_

_“Saint died on Mercury. Where the Sundial is.”_

_“So move it.”_

_“You can’t just_ **_move_ ** _it,” her brows furrowed. “Cayde's death was a fixed point in time.”_

_“And Saint’s wasn’t?”_

_“Why do you care?” Terin asked abruptly. “You and Cayde weren’t close,” she snapped._

_“Just because we weren’t ‘best buds’ doesn’t mean we didn’t have history. Sure we had our disagreements but I never wanted the guy dead.”_

_Terin stood silent, judging him. “Look, I’m just here to grab more bounties,” she said quietly, her spirit seemingly leaving her being as she dropped the argument._

_“Yeah, sure. Whatever you want, Sweetness.”_

* * *

“Of all the things Terin’s pulled off, bringing back Saint-14 was the least expected,” the bartender commented.

“Claims he used to have visions about her,” the Drifter drained his drink. “That she was prophesied.”

“What do you think?”

“She’s slain gods, real and fake. She can skate in and out of the ascendant realm like no one else. She defied the laws of time and space by getting that damn shotgun to the overgrown son of a bitch,” he paused, “I _think_ people expect too much. And here soon that burden is gonna break her.”

* * *

_“Why don’t you claim your achievements?” the Drifter asked her one day, months of Prime and achievements under her belt. Fact was, she had become his best player. Something that both irritated and delighted him._

_“What would be the point?”_

_“We’re handing out all these fancy titles now. You’ve more than earned the one for Gambit.”_

_“Why claim yours when Harbinger is just sitting there?” she teased, him knowing she’d achieved better titles._

_“Overachiever,” he scoffed with a smirk. “Dredgen sounds so much smoother than_ **_Harbinger_** _.”_

_“Mmm, but that title won’t have me staring down the barrel of a Last Word.”_

_“What?” His head spun at the gun's name._

_“Of all the names you've had Dredgen Hope was the least expected,” she said pointedly._

_“What do you know?” he asked defensively._

_“More than you it would seem.” Before he could think he was grabbing Terin by the sides of her chest piece, pushing her out of view of the corridor. A knife was drawn, pressed against his throat. “Hands. Off,” she growled, silver eyes flashing to hardened steel._

_“Who's been talkin' to ya?” he demanded, his face mere inches from hers._

_The blade pressed further, the pressure painful as she answered. “A man with almost as many names as you.”_

_“That son of a--” He let her go, taking a step back._

_“He warned me about you,” Terin flipped the knife in her hand, gripping it tight should she have to use it again._

_“Who hasn't?”_

_“Told me I was a distraction. That you had a job to do. That I needed to stay away, me and my Light."_

_He ran his tongue over his teeth, carefully thinking what to say next. “You gonna?” he asked, fearing either answer._

_“Ever touch me like that again and I will.”_

_“I don’t know what he told you--” he warned, spinning back, finding himself face to face with her, his height over her never so evident._

_“Nothing the Emissary hasn’t already explained.”_

_He could feel himself pale. “What?”_

_“You’re a popular guy, Eli. Everyone seems to have something to say… but you.”_

_He swallowed. “Since when do you talk to the Emissary?”_

_“Since I was_ **_invited_ ** _to,” she countered, smacking at his hand to push him away from her._

_“You need to stay clear of that psycho. Ya hear me?”_

_“At least that_ **_psycho_ ** _is giving me answers. More than I can say for you,” she glared at him._

_“You don't wanna know nothin’ about me, Sister.” He meant it. The less she knew the better._

_“Seeing as your past is directly affecting my future? Yeah, I do.”_

_“What are you on about?” he asked skeptically._

_“Haven’t been paying much attention to what Eris found on the moon, have you?”_

* * *

“That chick has always freaked me out,” the bartender shuddered. “Dunno if it’s the three eyes or the way they cry.”

“You’d cry too if you went through the same shit she did,” the Drifter said, summoning his Ghost to pay the glimmer due.

“Hey, you never explained _why_ you’re in here drinking.”

“Death is comin’ mi amigo. Figured one last time in the only bar I haven’t been kicked out of before I hit the road.”

“So it has nothing to do with the girl?” the man asked, confused.

The Drifter chuckled. “It has _everything_ to do with her.” 

* * *

_“_ _I warned you to stay away from that psycho,” the Drifter pointed a finger at Terin as she asked about her final vision. “All this is gonna do is spell trouble.”_

_“If you just told Ikora--”_

_“No. They know too much already._ **_You_ ** _know too much already.”_

_“Why are you here?”_

_“You know why. I’m untouchable here in my dungeon," he bounced a jade coin off the wall for effect._

_“No. Not Malphur. Or the Shadows. Why are you here? Really?”_

_He took a step toward her, a closeness that hadn’t occurred between them in weeks. “You_ **_really_ ** _wanna know?”_

_“Wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t.”_

_His eyes narrowed as a smirk played across his face. “Titan. Need you to secure a cache for me. Supplies I’ve **misplaced**_. Do this, and we’ll talk.”

_“You want me to be your errand girl?”_

_“You’re the one that wants answers,” he shrugged._

_“Fine.”_

* * *

The Drifter stepped out into the chilled night’s air, warming his hands with his breath. He stumbled towards the transmat pad on the corner, trusting his Ghost to get him back to the safety of the tower.

 _One more day,_ he thought to himself. He’d stayed too long, become too attached. Of all the gambles he’d made in his millennia of existence letting Terin in, letting her see glimpses of the real him, wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. So he sent her on a goose chase as he loaded the real supplies onto the Derelict.

He refused to let what happened to Orin happen to her; he was a creature that couldn’t be saved from himself, no need to drag another unfortunate soul down with him. The Darkness was coming and it was time for him to go.


	2. Terin

_When my Ghost raised me from the sea there was a thorn-cut in my left hand and it has not healed since -Legend: The Black Garden_

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

The Drifter made it as far as the Tower wall before the effects of the ether-concentrate wore thin, cursing the bartender who clearly watered it down. He had half a mind to go back to demand a refund but thought twice about it before stepping onto the transmat; stolen Eliskni technology taking the place of outdated elevators. Stepping off into the maintenance terminal, he began his familiar walk through the tunnels, keeping out of sight of the top floors above. 

Directly above him were most of the residential complexes: apartments fireteams shared together, set aside housing units for vendors -not that he had ever been offered one. The open gardens of the Vanguard homes connected to the side of the Annex, allowing the Drifter to slip unseen from the maintenance tunnels to his own quiet corner; no need to placate Guardians in passing with the false smile he wore to put them all at ease, no need to keep an eye on his surroundings for the flash of a hand cannon.

Sixteen hours and he'd be back on the Derelict, confronting visions he'd wished he'd never had.

"Hey, what's this?"

Hawthorne's voice caught his attention as he shuffled through a back corridor, passing the windows of a residence that had been dark for some time.

_Thought this place was abandoned?_

"That," Ikora's voice chimed in, "is an ascendant shard."

As curious as he was as to why those two were talking about ascendant shards, he continued on his path, reaching the stairwell that dropped into the southside of the Annex. That's when he felt it, the familiar tug in the pit of his stomach; the reason he'd dipped out of the Tower so early that evening, not wanting to cross paths with _her_ the night before his departure.

"Said he wanted to turn it into a light fixture," he heard Terin's voice float out of the window, slightly slurred. 

_Was she drunk?_

Letting his curiosity get the best of him, he doubled back, pulling himself up onto a catwalk that looked down into the bay window of the residence. Inside, he could see Ikora sitting at a counter, as stiff and poised as ever, though he admitted it was a sight to not see her in her usual garb.

On the floor beside her sat Hawthorne, digging through a footlocker with a black spade spray-painted on the side.

 _Was this Cayde's place?_ His eyes ran over the exterior, noting how it was easily one of the nicer homes in the area. _Fuckin' Vanguard._

"He would," Ikora laughed, catching the Drifter off guard. As long as he'd known her, he'd never once heard her laugh.

"And this?" He watched as Hawthorne picked up a green glowing orb.

" _That_ is the Crux of Crota," Terin answered, finally coming into view.

He had been certain the ether had left his system until he saw her again, his body heating. Wearing little more than linen wrappings and trousers the same primal feeling that plagued him crept through his being, temptation whispering as it tried to reach out. Her hair worn loose, skin exposed, it took all of his willpower to not blink through her window. _Get a grip_ , he chastised himself, cursing the day he'd discovered who she was.

Terin's voice pulled him out of his darkening haze. "Disassembled my Necrochasm to pull that out of it."

"Why?" Hawthorne asked.

"Why did Cayde do half of the things he did?" Ikora mused, reaching behind her for a glass. The Drifter almost blew his cover seeing the iridescent liquid in her cup, shocked that the Warlock Vanguard would be drinking contraband liquor.

_That hypocritical witch--_

"Keep it," Terin said, reaching down into the cache. "This, too," she pulled out an old, beaten up Mythoclast.

"Are you sure you want to get rid of all of his belongings?" Ikora asked.

"It's time," she exhaled. "I've put this off long enough."

"How long has it been?" Hawthorne asked.

"Just over a year and a half."

_Had Cayde really been dead that long?_

"And you haven't been back here since?"

"Nope."

"Shame. It's a nice place."

"He had it decorated for me when I moved in," Terin said fondly, disappearing out of sight again.

"I remember that," Ikora smiled. "He and Amanda worked on this place for days before he finally worked up the nerve to ask you to move in."

"That guy was nervous?" Hawthorne asked incredulously.

"Only when it came to Terin," the Warlock smirked. "I remember the day I found out he liked you, shortly after you came back from slaying Crota."

"Wait," Terin interrupted. "Crota?"

"Believe me when I say he liked you for far longer than he let on," Ikora finished her drink before setting down the empty glass.

* * *

_"_ _What are you doing?" Ikora asked the Hunter Vanguard as soon as she was certain Terin was out of earshot._

_Cayde's head turned from the now empty hallway to Ikora's judging expression. "Who? Me?"_

_"Your optics practically fell out of your head," her brow raised._

_"No…"_

_"You are her_ **_mentor_ ** _, Cayde," she reminded him, as though he wasn't keenly aware of that fact._

_"I know that."_

_"If Zavala saw you--"_

_"It's not like that," he said without further explanation. Ikora remained silent, the pair staring at each other._

_"I thought you and Amanda…?"_

_"Amanda?" Cayde blinked. "Ah… no," he chuckled. "Not exactly her_ **_type_ ** _."_

 _"Oh._ **_Oh_ ** _," Ikoras eyes went wide at the realization. "I didn't know."_

_He shrugged his shoulders, his attentions turning back down to the map he had spread across the table._

_"So. You and Terin?"_

_"Not yet."_

_"Zavala won't approve," she warned._

_Cayde looked up, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "When have I ever been the type to ask for permission?"_

_"You are her teacher," Ikora stated practically._

_"Pretty sure she's teaching us at this point."_

_"Starting a relationship would set a precedent that--"_

_"Two nearly immortal beings can find happiness?" Cayde cut her off. "Terin isn't_ **_like_ ** _the rest of them. You know it. I know it--"_

_Ikora straightened her posture, crossing her arms. "What are your intentions?"_

_"Really?" he deadpanned._

_"You_ **_know_ ** _how protective he is of her. He'll want to know your intentions."_

_Cayde exhaled. "I don't know. I like her. But…"_

_"You haven't told her yet," Ikora finished his thought. "Why not?"_

_"She's a bit busy saving the system," he gestured toward the window overlooking the mountains. "Again."_

_"You're scared," she said matter-of-factly._

_"What? Me? No…"_

_"When have you ever_ **_not_ ** _said exactly what's on your mind?"_

_"Wait, are you for or against this? Because I really can't tell right now."_

_"Do you think she will make you happy?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And do you think you'll make her happy?"_

_"My sense of humor and these stunning good looks?" He motioned to his face._

_"I'm serious."_

_"So am I," he smiled. "I think I could make her happy. If she'll have me, that is."_

_"Are you worried she might reject you?"_

_"Honestly? Yeah. System is a big place."_

* * *

"That is so sweet," Hawthorne smiled. "Hit me," she held up her glass for Ikora to refill.

"That stupid, stupid, man," Terin muttered, pacing back and forth.

His eyes tracked her movement. Clearly drunk she still prowled like a predator, him having no doubt that she was somehow _more_ lethal under the influence of ether.

"Surely, you had to have known he at least _thought_ about you like that before then, right?"

She shook her head. "No. Cayde always told me I got tunnel vision. So singularly focused on the task at hand that I miss things like that."

_You're telling me…_

"You really had _no_ idea?"

"He always played his cards close to his chest," she mused, finding her glass for a refill as well. "Relationships and--"

"Sex."

Terin grinned, "That," she held her glass up to silently toast the woman. "Were the last thing on my mind."

"Even though _literally_ everyone was, is, doing it?" The other woman shot Hawthorne a look. "I monitor the clans," she shrugged. "Freaks. Every last one of you."

_You've got no idea, Sister..._

"So… when _did_ you find out?" Hawthorne asked.

The Drifter watched a pink hue spread across her cheeks. "The day my fireteam and I left to take down Oryx," Terin answered.

* * *

_"Hey, uh… you're leaving."_

_Terin looked up from the bag she was packing to find Cayde standing above her, rocking on his heels. "Yep," she smiled, shoving a pack of Eris' raisins in the side pocket. Her fireteam was double-checking supplies in the hangar, Amanda running final checks on all of their ships._

_"Oryx."_

_"Oryx," she agreed as he began to snap his fingers before spinning on his heel to leave. "Wait," she called out, grabbing him by the wrist as she stood._

_Cayde stopped, turning with bright blinking optics. "Yeah?"_

_"No, you just seemed like you wanted to say something?"_

_"Uhm, right. Good luck."_

_"Thanks?" Terin asked with a skeptical expression._

_"No. Ya know… screw it," he pulled back his arm, pulling Terin with it until they were chest to chest. Reaching, he cupped her cheek, pressing the mouthpiece of his faceplate to her lips. "Stay safe, yeah?"_

* * *

"I didn't see him for another two months after that," Terin said, stepping back into view. 

"But, you defeated Oryx."

She shrugged. "I did what had to be done.”

“You know he was the one to organize that welcome home party? Reprogrammed a handful of Shaxx’s Red Jacks to be a marching band.”

"Okay, now it's just disgustingly sweet," Hawthorne laughed.

 _You're fucking telling me,_ the Drifter thought to himself, still lurking on the catwalk across from them. 

"Neither one of us addressed the kiss until the day he abducted me,” Terin said fondly.

“Abducted?”

* * *

_"_ _Whaddya doin' there?"_

_Terin spun, finding Cayde standing behind her. She had commandeered one of the desks in the Vanguards office, littering it with books and scrolls. "Hey," she smiled._

_"Wanna sneak out?" he whispered._

_"Sneak out?" her brow raised in amusement. "We're free to come and go as we please."_

_"Yes, but it's much more exciting if we sneak," he continued to whisper._

_"Did you want me to shadowroll? Or triple jump out of the window?"_

_Cayde brought his hand to his chin in thought. "Oh, options. How about you throw smoke at that guy over there," he pointed over his shoulder absently. "And while those two are distracted," he motioned vaguely to Ikora and Zavala, who were watching them intently, "we make a run for it?"_

_"You want me to throw a bomb at the sweeper bot so we can sprint out of here?"_

_"Or--"_

_"Just go!" Zavala boomed, slamming his fist on the table._

_"That," Cayde grinned, holding out his hand for her to take. The second she took it, he pulled her toward the door, running as they passed Shaxx and the Crucible Quartermaster._

_"Why are we running?"_

_"It's not an adventure unless there is running involved," he shouted, dragging her up the steps to the Courtyard._

_"Where are we going?" Terin yelled as he ran head-on toward the railing that overlooked the Last City._

_"Jump!"_

_"What?!" she cried, adrenaline kicking in as her legs instinctively pushed off, the both of them launching themselves into the open air below. Before she could scream, she felt the effects of a transmat, pulling her into a ship. "The hell?!"_

_"You two make it?" Terin heard Amanda's voice come through the comms of the ship,_ **_Cayde's_ ** _ship she quickly realized._

_"Worked perfect," Cayde said with his usual relaxed demeanor. "Would have been an awful start to a first date if it hadn't. Though there is that ramen shop near the wall where our bodies would've landed."_

_"First date?" Terin asked, watching as Cayde flipped and fiddled with the ship's controls._

_"There's this place over in the European Dead Zone… not_ **_really_ ** _supposed to be there, but the views are amazing and--" Terin cut him off with a kiss, leaning over far enough to reach. "Picnic."_

_"I like picnics," Terin smiled._

_"You know I can_ **_still_ ** _hear you guys?" Amanda laughed from her end._

* * *

"I remember when you two came back from that date. Zavala was furious that you two had gone into the Dead Zone. But Cayde was so happy he couldn't bring himself to say anything," Ikora chuckled lightly.

"Really?"

"Zavala championed your relationship the second he found out. Surprised me, to say the least."

"He was a great guy," Hawthorne said somberly.

"He was," Ikora smiled softly. Refilling her glass, she held it up high. "To Cayde."

"To Cayde," the other two raised their glasses, Terin sitting just out of his field of view. 

"Can I ask you something?" Hawthorne set her glass down on the floor beside her, looking up in Terin's direction. "Hunting down Uldren, getting your vengeance… did it help?"

There was a moment of silence before Terin spoke. "No."

 _Never does,_ the Drifter pushed back from the railing, ready to be about his way. Not one to mistake the goldmine of information his eavesdropping opportunity was, he had better things.

"Terin…" Ikora held up a book that was on the counter, dusting it off. "Did you take this from the Collective?"

"There was an excerpt about Light anomalies I didn't get a chance to read last week."

"And Aunor didn't spot you taking it?"

"Hunter," Terin beamed with a mischievous grin.

* * *

_"You've been spending an awful lot of time here," a voice came from behind Terin as she combed through the Ishtar Collectives extensive libraries. She turned, finding Aunor Mahal watching her. "You would have made a great Warlock in another life, I'm sure."_

_"Can I help you?" Terin asked pointedly, snapping shut the book she'd been combing through._

_"You're being followed."_

_She raised an amused brow. "Clearly."_

_"Shin Malphur."_

_"What about him?"_

_"Curious why_ **_he_ ** _of all people would be following_ **_you_ ** _."_

_"Ask him."_

_"Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to do that… yet."_

_"So, you thought you'd harass me instead?"_

_"As a Guardian--"_

_"Am I under investigation?" Terin cut to the point._

_"You are_ **_always_ ** _under investigation," Aunor answered, brow raised. "How close would you say you are to the Drifter?" she shifted subjects._

_"I'm not."_

_"And yet you spend a_ **_considerable_ ** _amount of time playing that little game of his?"_

_"Again, ask him."_

_"He would only placate me with his half-truths and feeble pickup attempts."_

_Terin laughed despite herself. "Sounds like Eli."_

_"Eli?" Aunor asked, surprised._

_"That is his name."_

_"Among many." Terin could sense that she thought she was onto something. "Seems all of you Hunters are quite… tight-knit."_

_"Wasn't aware he was a Hunter."_

_"I suppose not. Rogue Lightbearer like himself wouldn't want to fall into order, would he?"_

_Terin shrugged, placing the book back on the shelf where she had pulled it out. "Is there a point to this?"_

_"There always is," the woman paused. "I expect to see you at the next Consensus meeting."_

_Before Terin could answer the woman transmitted away._

* * *

"Is she still following you?" Ikora asked as the Drifter let himself silently drop to the cobblestone below, not particularly caring for the dealings of the Praxic Order.

Terin sighed. "Everywhere I go."

"And Malphur? Any more run-in's with him?"

The Drifter froze, positive he hadn't misheard.

"He pops up from time to time, but he's been keeping his distance since that night in the bar."

_The bar? What bar?_

"Do you suppose he _knows_?"

"Doubt it. I've made it a point to ensure I'm never followed before going to the Annex."

_...Knows what?_

* * *

_"_ _Another round for the lady."_

_"No thanks," Terin kept her back turned on the hooded figure, watching him through the glass bottles that lined the shelves._

_"Not even to toast your late… love?"_

_Terin turned, contempt on her face as Shin Malphur stared down at her. "He didn't like you."_

_"Not many do."_

_"Can I help you with something?"_

_"Just wanted to chat."_

_"I'm sure."_

_The renegade took a seat beside her, setting his Last Word across the bar top. "How's_ **_Wu_ ** _?"_

_"Eli?"_

_"That's sweet."_

_"He's fine, I suppose."_

_"See any Shadows lately?"_

_"Even if I had, I wouldn't tell you."_

_"That's not nice."_

_"What do you want?" Terin cut to the point._

_"Information."_

_"Find it elsewhere."_

_"Heard you're playing Gambit now," he motioned to the bartender, ordering two shots._

_"What I do in my free time is none of your business."_

_"Guardian business is my business."_

_"I'm sorry, were you named Vanguard Commander? Were you given a seat on the Consensus?"_

_Shin scoffed. "No wonder he likes you. Mouthy little thing."_

_"Go away."_

_"You need to steer clear of him. His ending… not a happy one."_

_"Why do you care what I do?"_

_"You and I, we're the heroes of this story."_

_"Is that what we are?"_

_"Guys like him go down as villains."_

_Terin turned her body toward him, leaning in. "Why is that?"_

_"Stay away."_

* * *

"I've always admired your inability to follow simple instructions," Ikora laughed, hiccuping as she did.

"You ever think sometimes she does it just to see what would happen?" Hawthorne teased.

"Oh, I _know_ she does."

"You know, you’re the luckiest person I've ever met," Hawthorne addressed Terin.

"How's that?" He could hear the humor in her voice.

"Remember when you came out to the Farm about, oh, three months ago?"

"That' not--”

"Lit up like a Christmas tree," the woman howled with laughter.

"What?" Ikora asked.

"What's that thing you Hunters do, with the purple voodoo?"

"Her Void super?"

"That!"

"Was the alcohol," Terin deflected. “Had nothing to do with--”

"What are you two talking about?" Ikora asked, just as confused as the Drifter, who had decided to lean up against the wall beneath the open window.

"She not tell you how she went all glowy like Ghaul seeing _the Drifter_?”

"I did _not_ glow," the Hunter bit quickly.

"You did."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Ikora's tone changed, taking on her typical demeanor.

"It happened once. Hasn't happened again. Therefore it means nothing."

"It _means_ he turns you on," Hawthorne laughed.

"Suraya!" 

"What? You've been all over the system looking for answers, gaining the attention of people even _I_ know not to mess with. Again, you’re _lucky_ they didn’t follow you out to the Farm that night.”

“I’m not--”

“Is it really so inconceivable to think that maybe it's just a matter of hormonal attraction?" 

A heavy silence hung in the air as the Drifter tried to piece their conversation together.

"Terin?" Ikora spoke softly.

* * *

_"How_ **_do_ ** _you kill an Ahamkara?" Suraya asked as she and Terin sat on top of the barn at the Farm._

_"With guns," Terin smirked, taking a swig out of the whiskey she had found in one of Cayde's old caches. "Where is everyone?"_

_"Hunting," she took the bottle from the Guardian._

_"Hunting?"_

_"Food. Not Fallen," she laughed. "Devrim and Shiro took a group out a couple of hours ago just before dark. Should be back soon."_

_"I didn't know Shiro was around."_

_"Hmm," she smirked. "If you ever came down and saw us lowly folk, you'd learn quite a bit."_

_"Ha-ha," Terin deadpanned._

_"Seriously, though, what_ **_have_ ** _you been up to? I've barely seen you in the tower."_

_"Gambit."_

_"Ah, well, that explains it."_

_"Explains what?"_

_"Drifter takes a break so you can find it in your time to visit us."_

_"What are you talking about?" Terin asked with a confused smile._

_Below them, a group emerged from the treeline, Terin instinctively pulling her gun. "Easy killer," Suraya laughed, placing her hand on the rifle barrel to lower it. "You ever_ **_look_ ** _before you shoot?"_

_Terin peered, spotting Devrim and Shiro-4 leading a small group toward the fire pit. Behind them trailed a handful of faces she didn't recognize… and the Drifter. Out of his usual pauldrons, free of the trademark black bandana, her Light surged. She blamed the bottle of whiskey._

_"Woah, you okay?" Terin looked to Suraya, who was studying her intently. "You're… glowing."_

_Holding up a hand, Terin watched as Light coursed under her skin, tricking her into thinking that she might be Awoken in a split drunk-second._

_"Not to be an ass, but you sure you're human?" Suraya asked._

_"This_ **_happens_ ** _," she lied, her hazy mind trying to make sense of what was happening._

_"Never seen you do that before," Suraya sing-songed. The culprit in question that caused the sudden flare looked up, eyes narrowed on her from the fire pit below. " **O**_ **_h_ ** _," she laughed._

_"What?" Terin forced herself to pull her eyes away from his, forcing the Light in her to settle._

_"Get why you've been spending all your time in Gambit."_

_"No," Terin scoffed._

_"Look, I don't pretend to understand your Light or any of that Guardian nonsense," she began, "but whatever_ **_that_ ** _was, was_ **_all_ ** _human."_

* * *

_She had felt it too…_ he frowned, trying to process exactly what he’d heard.

"Terin?" Ikora repeated.

"I don't… I don't know."

"But you suspect."

"Yes."

"How long?"

"The first time I felt it," Terin's voice was quiet. "The first time I met him."

 _Time to go_ , he told himself, officially prepared to walk away. The last thing he needed was vague answers to even more vague questions… even if they gave him some degree of hope he hadn't asked for.

"You never told Cayde."

"How could I?"

"He would have understood."

"It would have _hurt_ him," Terin bit, silencing the Warlock Vanguard. "I loved him."

"This _pull_ you've been researching," Hawthorne began, "Did you ever have that with Cayde?"

"No."

He could hear the shame in Terin's answer.

"It doesn't discredit your time with Cayde. You know that, right?"

"Doesn't it? I kept this from him. How would Saint feel if you kept something like this from him?"

"Wait," Hawthorne cut in. "You and Saint?"

"It's a relatively… recent development."

_Well, that explained a few things..._

"Good for you," she laughed, breaking the tension in the room.

"I need to speak to Mithrax," Terin announced.

"I do _not_ advise this."

"Until I can dig up a reasonable explanation--"

"It a poor idea."

"The Eleskni--"

"Have no written history predating the Whirlwind."

"Have you tried talking to _him_ about it?" Hawthorne cut into their argument. "To the Drifter?"

A bark of laughter escaped Terin, admittedly bruising his ego. "Yeah, okay. As if he's not shady enough, do you really think he'd give me any answers as to why my Light goes haywire anytime I'm near him?"

"I don't think it's wise to entrust this _information_ with the Fallen, Terin," Ikora continued to lecture her. "It's already enough that you've told Petra."

"Petra is an ally."

"Until she's not."

 _Interesting,_ the Drifter sat against the wall, morbid curiosity getting the better of him.

* * *

_"Terin. Surprised to see you here," Petra looked over at her, keeping a wary eye on the Forsaken below._

_"I need some advice."_

_"Of course.”_

_"Alone?"_

_"We should go somewhere else then," Petra glanced around at her Techeuns. Leading Terin to a private alcove, she set down her weapon. "What's troubling you?"_

_"I_ **_felt_ ** _something a while back, and I need to know what it is."_

_A red brow arched. "Okay?"_

_"My Light... at least I'm pretty sure it's my Light, was being drawn…"_

_"Drained?"_

_"No. Drawn. **To** someone." _

_Her eyes narrowed. "Who?"_

_"The Drifter."_

_"Terin--"_

_"I know. Cayde didn't trust him."_

_"_ ** _No one_ ** _trusts him. And neither should you," Petra warned._

_"The Archology hasn't turned up anything."_

_"How long has this been going on?"_

_"Since the war."_

_Petra sighed. "Our libraries are open to you, of course. But Terin," she paused. "Cayde was right to not trust him. His enemies--"_

_"The Shadows."_

_"So, you know."_

_"Cayde mentioned them in a few of his journals. Not a lot of information on them either."_

_"Wouldn't be. Can't promise our records will have much more. The Queen didn't care for the bickering of Guardians."_

_Terin paused. "Thank you."_

_Petra paused. "Are you **sure** it's your Light?"_

_"What else would it be?" Terin asked._

_The woman frowned. "Nothing. I'll always have your six, Terin. But take a_ _minute to look up an Awoken named Orin?"_

* * *

"The Emissary?" Ikora asked.

"Yes."

"Wait, who's the Emissary?"

"A speaker of sorts," the Warlock explained to Hawthorne. “For the Nine."

"Thought that was ol' creepy smoke tentacle guy?"

The Drifter chuckled, having a newfound appreciation for the blunt human.

"Xur? No. He's the _Agent_ for the Nine."

"Awful lot of representation for a group you've never met," Hawthorne muttered bitterly.

"Have you asked the Drifter about her?" Ikora kept the conversation on track.

Terin shook her head. "Eli made it clear that I needed to stay away from her."

"You get that you're all a shady lot, right?" Hawthorne laughed. "Drifter, Malphur, Aunor, the Nine… _Xur_."

"That we're all pawns in the greater game between the Gardener and the Winnower," Ikora hummed.

"One day, I will understand all of your Warlock nonsense."

"Good luck," Terin said, her voice carrying from a different window. "I've known her for six years, and I still don't get it."

"Wait… six years? Don't tell me you're one of those Kinderguardians?"

The Drifter could hear the surprise in Hawthorne's voice.

"We didn't _choose_ to rez when we did," Terin defended.

"What'd I give to have not survived the Dark Age," Ikora hummed.

_You and me both, Sister._

"A world conquered by warlords and gunslingers. If you ever wanted to source the contempt between the Titans, I'd start there."

"I'll stick with human politics, thanks."

"She is wise," he could hear Ikora faux whispering to Terin.

"She is drunk," Hawthorne laughed once more. "I'll admit, this ether stuff, not bad."

_Wonder if theirs is watered down too…?_

"In all seriousness, I would have pegged you for one of these old-timers. No offense."

"None taken," Ikora chuckled.

"You're just so… _different_."

"Exceptional," the Warlock praised.

"Hardly," Terin scoffed.

"Atheon. Crota. Oryx. The Siva crisis--"

"All with fireteams," she deflected.

"Fine. The Gatelord? The Exclusion Zone? The Black Garden?"

 _Wait…_ The Drifter shook his head. He’d _heard_ of its destruction, but he hadn’t known it was Terin’s doing.

"Black Garden?" Hawthorne questioned.

"A simple mission--"

"She single-handedly jumped through a Vex Time Gate into the Black Garden to destroy its heart.”

"Wasn't even a strike--" Terin continued to deflect.

"It’s heart?"

"Residual energy from the Darkness. It had been stopping the Traveler from healing for longer than we had realized.”

"That sounds pretty big," Hawthorne said, the Drifter able to hear the reverence in her voice.

"It wasn't. Simple mission. In and out, took down some Vex along the way--"

"You died," Ikora cut in.

"I die all the time."

 _Why was she still deflecting?_ He had seen the way she gloated after each victory in Gambit. To have taken out the Heart… it should definitely be at the top of her list of achievements. 

"That's your guys' thing, right?" Hawthorne asked. “Dying and coming back?”

"It was your _first_ death, Terin."

"We all have to have one."

He could hear the irritation in her voice.

"Most Guardians wander off the wall or blow themselves up on their sparrows. You disappeared into the Heart for three days--"

"Enough!" Terin snapped. "I'm sorry,” she paused. “It's just not my favorite memory."

"How come I've never heard about this?" Hawthorne asked. "The way people gossip about you…"

"It was never officially reported," Ikora explained. "At the time, the Vanguard was focused on the Vault of Glass. Terin's _actions_ would have set a precedence that Guardians can simply do whatever they please under the flag of the Vanguard. Between seeking help from the Awoken to stepping into a war on Mars, it was our official position that Terin acted on her own behalf and not on our orders."

"See, shady."

"Terin's _allowances_ are often overlooked by the Order and the Consensus. She proved herself more than competent from the beginning, setting herself apart from the other Guardians that resurrected that year."

There was a pause, the Drifter trying to sort out the information he'd just overheard. _Three days…_ She had survived _inside_ the Heart for three days.

"Do you think that's why he chose you?" Hawthorne cut through the awkward silence.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you took out the Heart or whatever, right? And then when Ghaul came around the shard _chose_ you--"

"Coincidence. Right place, right time."

"Don't believe in coincidences," Hawthorne said. "My half-informed guess is that _whatever_ it is that sets you apart is also the cause of your Light going all whackadoo around the Drifter."

"That--"

"Makes sense," Ikora stated as though she'd had a revelation.

"How?" Terin asked, the Drifter able to hear the urgency in her voice.

"I don't… I don't know."

"Note, Ikora Rey cannot handle her alcohol," Hawthorne laughed. "Come on, oh wise one, I had better get you back to your place."

"We'll discuss this in the morning?"

"Of course," Terin answered.

Hawthorne moved faster than the Drifter had expected, a door beside him beginning to crack open. "Night Terin," she said behind her, supporting Ikora's weight as the two women stumbled out into the alley. He watched them disappear around the corner, his head dropping back against the wall. 

_No,_ he scolded himself. He would _not_ get caught up in this. He had a plan, an escape.

 _You_ **_did_ ** _tell her there was room for her on the Derelict…_

He shook his head, shrugging the idea off. She'd never leave her precious Vanguard. They needed her. The fact was, she _was_ different than the rest… and now he knew why. 


	3. Intuition

_The death of Uldren Sov will have its consequences. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But the day will come. I hope we will survive it. -Zavala_

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

Terin woke with a blinding headache, her Ghost materializing beside her. “I should let you suffer.”

“You’re heartless, Svet,” she groaned, her eyes adjusting to the daylight that streamed into Cayde’s old hideout. She remembered making her way up there after Ikora and Hawthorne left, unable to bring herself to spend the night in the quarters they’d once shared. Drunkenly turned around in the ventilation shafts more than once, she scaled the wall from the courtyard, cramming through the narrow window.

“You’re right. I don’t _have_ a heart,” Sven said flatly.

“Please,” she whined, a side of herself she showed few. Her Ghost and Cayde. Ikora on a drunk occasion. Amanda _once,_ but that had been after Cayde’s wake.

“Fine.” Svet scanned her, flushing her Light to set her straight.

Instant relief let her see clearly, cursing the ether concentrate Hawthorne had smuggled into the Tower. Unlike the watered-down swill bars in the city served illegally, the bottle she’d brought came straight from the Eliskni.

“Mithrax,” Terin whispered, remembering their conversations. 

Svet spun. “Ikora said—”

“When has that ever stopped me?” She stood, eyes scanning the scrap piles in the room for her armor. “Besides, wasn’t she just applauding my inability to follow directions?”

“You’re stretching it.”

Terin shrugged, pulling on her leg armor. “I’ll need to stop by and see Banshee before we head out. Grab some new mods if I can.”

“Do you even know where Mithrax is?”

“No,” she secured her gauntlets. “But I know who will.”

“Let me guess, the Spider?” Her Ghost was not fond of the scheming Spider.

Terin grinned. “Wanna transmat me to the courtyard?”

“You know you could have asked me to get you in here last night? You didn’t have to parkour your way through the window.”

Terin felt herself slipping from the room, wind hitting her face as she rematerialized in the courtyard. Busier than most mornings, there was an unusual energy in the air. Eyes caught stolen glances her way, not daring to linger for longer than a second. “Uh, did I _do_ something last night?”

“No,” her Ghost spun, also sensing the tension. “You actually behaved for once.”

Making her way through the courtyard, heads followed, a hush falling over the masses of Guardians. Stepping up to Banshee’s window, she refocused her attention.

“Heya, Terin,” he said somberly, remembering her name for once. “How ya feeling?”

“How am I feeling? How are _you_ feeling?” she shot back. “What’s going on?”

Leaning in, he looked around her, ensuring no one was eavesdropping. “You haven’t heard?”

“Heard what?”

“Terin,” a voice came from behind her. Banshee backed into his workshop, a sympathetic look on his faceplates. Spinning, Terin found Aunor standing behind her. “Emergency Consensus meeting.”

“What happened?”

Aunor’s eyes caught another Guardian. “We will speak in Zavala’s office. Not _here_ ,” she stated cooly.

Terin’s eyes narrowed, feeling uneasy. Something had happened. More often than not, she was at the center of things, usually the gossip’s causality. This time… Aunor walked away, heading to the catwalks that led down to the Vanguard offices.

“Hey,” Banshee caught her attention. “You got Ace on you?”

“Yeah?” She always did.

“Good,” he said gruffly, quickly distracted by a newly rezzed Warlock.

Terin stepped away from his workshop, her world slowing as she tried to swallow down her apprehension. “Transmissions?”

“Already checked. Nothing of note. Whatever’s going on is for Consensus eyes only.”

A knot tightened in her stomach. “Okay,” she exhaled, pushing down her better instinct. “Let’s do this.” 

* * *

_“You okay?” Cayde asked, snaking his arms around Terin to rest his chin on her shoulder._

_“Fine,” she reviewed the manifest, ensuring she had everything packed._

_“Terin?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“Ship’s packed.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Has been packed for days now.”_

_“Mm.”_

_“So, what’s up?” He spun her so that they were face to face._

_The lines in her face relaxed, seeing him, pulled from thoughts that plagued her. “I just have this_ **_feeling_** _. Calus inviting us feels…_ **_wrong_ ** _.”_

_“Wrong, how?”_

_Terin’s brows furrowed. “Like we’re being toyed with?”_

_“That’s your gut then. Intuition. Type of stuff that keeps us Hunter’s alive._ **_Always_ ** _follow it,” he warned with a knowing look._

_“Have you ever gone against yours?” she asked, her tension slipping away._

_“Once,” he nodded. “Landed me this gig._ **_Knew_ ** _better than to drink with Andal that night.”_

_Terin couldn’t help but smile. “Where would you be if you weren’t trapped in this tower with me?” she asked, changing subjects._

_“You,” he tapped the tip of her nose. “Aren’t trapped. Let’s see… had I followed my gut and ran when I should have… I’d definitely be dead somewhere. Fall in with a bad crew, cheat someone at cards… sleep with the wrong guy’s wife…”_

_“Oh, whatever,” she laughed. “I may not have known Cayde’s 1-5, but_ **_you_ ** _are anything but a cheat and a liar.”_

 _“That is the_ **_nicest_ ** _thing anyone has ever said about me. Seriously,” Cayde grinned. “Luckily I’m about as stubborn as you are. Convinced myself to stay. Took the dare. Got you.”_

_“Couple hundred years later,” her brow arched in amusement._

_“Worth the wait.” Cayde hooked his finger under her chin, pressing his mouthpiece to her lips. “So. Wanna call the whole thing off? Tell that oversized space turtle to shove it?”_

_“You know I can’t,” she sighed, resting against his chest. “I owe—”_

_“You don’t owe anyone anything,” he cut her off. “We can send another fireteam. It doesn’t always have to be you.”_

_“Tell that to Zavala,” Terin bit._

_“Big Blue means well. He just lets his duty to the city cloud his judgment. If you wanna stay, stay. I’ll order us some take out. Rub away all of this tension,” his eyes scanned her body. “Make a night of it.”_

_“What would I do without you?” She inhaled, relaxing as she melted into him._

_“Hopefully you’ll never find out.”_

* * *

“Terin,” Zavala’s voice pulled her from her thoughts, her legs on autopilot as she made her way into his office. “Please take a seat.”

She focused her eyes, glancing around the room. Aunor stood by the windows that overlooked the city. Ikora, by the bookcase, her arms crossed defensively. The faction representatives were notably missing, as was Hawthorne and the newly re-appointed Saint-14. “Where’s everyone else?” Terin asked, declining to sit.

“Aunor and I agreed that it was best we keep this meeting undisclosed for now. As it is a Vanguard matter, the other factions are not necessary.”

The intuitive jab in Terin’s gut didn’t like where Zavala was headed, wishing Sayura were there to ease the thick tension in the room. 

“The reason I’ve called this meeting is to try to limit the public’s reaction to what I am about to you,” Zavala pressed both fists onto the top of his desk. “I am counting on you,” his eyes flitted between Terin and Ikora, “to remain calm and help me keep the peace while we… _adjust_.”

“Adjust?” Ikora asked, her skepticism audible.

Zavala’s brows furrowed as he thought out his words. “We have a new Guardian,” he began slowly. “As we all know, Guardians typically don’t remember who they were in their past life. This is no exception.”

Terin cut straight to the point. “Who is it?”

His cerulean eyes met here, a flicker of sorrow behind them. He took a deep breath, answering quietly. “He goes by Crow."

"Crow?" Ikora asked, a skeptical brow raised.

Zavala cleared his throat. "We know him as Uldren Sov."

Terin’s stomach flipped, dropped, and rose into her throat at the same time, images of her and Petra standing side by side over his body flashing behind her eyes. _There had to be a mistake,_ she thought to herself. _The Traveler wouldn’t…_

“What?” Ikora uncrossed her arms, stepping forward with a lethal glare.

“Scouts reported seeing him in the Shore.” It was Aunor’s turn to speak. “I've tasked Saint-14 with organizing a reconnaissance mission. We need to learn everything we can about Crow."

"Uldren," Terin bit, eyes flickering to Ikora. She paused, catching the brief look of betrayal on the Warlock's face before her ever-stoic mask slipped back into place.

"The Spider has been less than helpful, to say the least. Knowing what you Hunter’s think of Uldren,” her eyes slid over Terin, “It was best to send Saint."

"Why Saint?" Ikora asked, her voice wavering. "Why not Shaw Han or--?"

“He was chosen as he was the least emotionally impacted by… _events_ ,” Aunor finished.

“Events meaning Uldren murdering Cayde?” Terin snapped, her stomach settling as her core caught fire, rage pulsing through her veins. "Tell me you're going to put him on trial!"

The Warlock’s eyes narrowed. “Newly resurrected Guardians have no memory--”

“Does Petra know?”

“This is a matter for the Vanguard,” she challenged. “Not the Awoken. Unless you have information you’d like to share pertaining to Petra Venj?”

Terin’s lips formed a thin tight line, refusing to feed into the woman’s insinuation.

“Where is he now?” Ikora asked, her voice void of emotion. "This Crow...?"

“Working alongside the Spider,” Zavala answered. "Not ideal given the circumstances. We should like to approach him directly once we have more information and ready him."

“Ready him? Ready him for what?”

“To take over as Hunter Vanguard.”

Terin saw red, her pulse thrumming in her ears. Svet materialized beside her, flitting around in an alarmed state. “No,” she whispered, fingers digging into her crossed arms deep enough to bruise. Her Light flared, the edges of it darkening.

“Per Cayde’s will—”

“Don’t talk to me about Cayde’s will!” she snapped, meeting Zavala’s eyes.

“Any Hunter who kills Cayde takes his title as Hunter Vanguard,” Zavala’s voice was firm, but not without compassion. “Uldren Sov is that Hunter.”

“To hell, he is! He is a coward and a _murderer_ ,” Terin seethed, stepping forward to point her finger in the Commander’s face. “Find someone else!”

“You could do it,” Aunor said smoothly, examining the cuticles of her nails. “If you weren’t under investigation for the Prince’s murder as well…” she trailed off with a knowing smirk.

“I understand what you’re feeling,” Zavala cut back in.

“You understand _nothing_.” Terin could feel hot tears running down her face. “You weren’t _there_.”

Zavala stood straight, his face falling in momentary defeat. “I ask that you cooperate. Hand over the cloak. And Ace. Please."

Terin’s world was in free fall, betrayal and hurt burning deep into her being. She and Zavala had been at odds since she’d left to hunt down the Barons, but she _never_ would have thought that he’d bend to the Orders’ will. 

She spun, Andal’s cloak brushing the ground as she shot for the doors. She had to get out, had to get air, had to hunt down Uldren and finish what she’d started.

“Terin!” Zavala called out. “We are _not_ through!”

Throwing open the doors, she found the Drifter on the other side, his face written with mixed emotions as he eavesdropped. Her Light darkened, crackling at the edges as it pulling toward him with irrefutable magnetic energy.

“Ground all ships,” Zavala barked orders from his desk. “No one leaves this tower.”

The Drifter’s eyes darted from her to Zavala then back again. Pushing through him, Terin’s hand reaching for Ace, the cannon hanging heavy on her hip.

“After _everything_ ,” Ikora shook her head, glaring at the Titan in his office center. “She deserves better than _this_ , and you know it.” The Warlock spun, gracefully exiting into the hallway adjacent, stopping short of the Drifter. 

Waiting until the doors slammed shut behind her, she spoke quietly. “Stop her. Stop her, and I will guarantee that you make it to your little rendevous on Europa.”

His face dropped in surprise. “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, Sister.”

“Cut the shit,” she bit. “You and I both know you’ve been smuggling fuel up to that hull you call a ship. Cutting back door deals with merchants to supply yourself for what I am assuming is a one-way trip. Find Terin. Stop her from doing anything… destructive. Or else I might have to tip off some old _friends_ of yours.”

A slow smirk spread across his face. “Ikora Rey, you crafty old witch. Since when do _you_ swear?”

“I don’t,” she hissed as the doors behind her opened once more.

“Ah, Wu. How _expected_ to see you lurking outside a meeting that doesn’t concern you,” Aunor flashed a false smile.

“I was just askin’ the smartest Sister I know how a guy like me goes about makin’ new _friends_ ,” he chuckled with an equally fake grin, accepting Ikora’s tempting offer.

“I worry for the sanity of anyone who would consider you a friend.”

Drifter sucked on his tooth, biting back choice words before spinning on his heel. “Ladies,” he bowed out, his coat dusting the ground.

Unsure as to what had happened in the closed-door meeting, he knew it had screwed him out of his escape. If all ships were grounded and the Tower was on lockdown, there was no way he could make it to the Derelict.

Making his way up the catwalks, he searched for signs of Terin. Even if Ikora hadn’t bribed him with an admittedly great deal, curiosity would have been enough to hunt the tiny Hunter down. If he was going to have to delay his trip, he might as well know what was going on; use it to his advantage if he had to.

“Hey, uh, you see Terin come through here?” He leaned up against Banshee’s workbench.

“What’s it to you?”

“Wouldn’t you believe it, she cheated me at cards and owes me a whole _heap_ of glimmer,” he lied through his teeth, untrusting what the Exo may or may not remember. 

“You’ve never played cards with her,” his optics narrowed as he crossed his arms. “If you had, you’d know she doesn’t _have_ to cheat.”

 _Of course, she’s good at cards_ , the Drifter thought to himself. _Little minx is good at_ **_everything_ ** _after all…_

“She ran off toward the hangar. Considering her grip on Ace, I’d say there’s one in the chamber for an already-dead man.”

 _What does_ **_he_ ** _know?_

“Pleasure as always,” the Drifter offered a lazy salute before heading off, walking faster than usual. If Ikora’s bargain hadn’t been enough to motivate him, the spike in energy was.

Like wake in the water, energy coursed and rippled behind her, unnoticed by everyone else. Something dark was manifesting, her rage and hatred palpable. Having only felt it the handful of times enemy teams took her down while she was invading, he _knew_ she was hellbent on taking _someone_ out.

Speeding up, he nearly sprinted through the corridor, boots clicking along the steel and concrete. 

“Where is he?!” He heard Terin shout. Rounding the corner, he noted that Saint’s ship was missing. Shiptechs scattered, the bots all freezing in place. Lights whirled as the massive hangar doors slowly sealed shut.

“His ship is in bay four,” Amanda answered, utterly unphased by the canon-wielding Hunter. “But I haven’t seen him in a hot minute. At least three days. Even his pigeons fled the coop.”

The Drifter pushed through the sensation of her proximity, his adrenaline flaring with her temper. Weaving through the crowd of employees fleeing the scene, he caught up with Terin, slipping his arm around her waist. “Excuse us,” he winked at Amanda, who was just as wild-eyed as the Hunter in his hold.

“The hell are you doing?” Terin tried and failed to pull from him as he led her toward a dark corner. Wiggling in his grasp, she leveled Ace at him, pupils blown wide with fury. His eyes narrowed, part of his own being recognizing the murderous intent in hers. Tightening his grip and squaring his jaw, their energies twined together with spiked friction, heightening her rage and his urgency.

Before Terin could cock the cannon, time slowed, his chilled palm wrapping around her wrist. Both pulled from existence, phasing into the ascendant plane before reappearing in the annex. She blinked away momentary confusion, spotting Ace in his hand rather than her own. Instinct kicked in as she reached for her knife. In a split second, he had her pressed up against the wall, arm pinned behind her back as the blade clattered to the ground.

“Nice try, Sweetness,” he breathed hotly into her ear. “Gonna have to be faster than that if you wanna take _me_ down.”

“Let go,” she growled, trying to break free of his grasp.

“Not ’til you calm down.”

Attempting to shadow roll away from him, he was one step ahead, time slowing as they dipped back into the plane, wind violently whipping at them both. He caught Terin by the waist once more, pulling her to him with a snarl. Swinging, her fist connected with his jaw, rocking his head back.

Solar energy flared through her but was quickly snuffed out by his enveloping power, darker than the cityscape’s depths around them. Throwing a left hook, her fist was caught in the Drifter’s palm, the real world reemerging around them. Crashing into his mote bank, the glass cracked, time catching up to itself.

Pinning her hand above her head, he caught the other, coupling them beneath his wide grip. His knee spread her legs, stopping her frenzied kicks. Trying to summon her super yet again, she opted for Arc. The air crackled with energy before it, too, was swallowed by the Drifter’s power.

“Get the fuck off of me!” Terin spat at him.

“Don’t make me _hurt_ you,” he gritted through clenched teeth, trying to tame the feral Hunter beneath him. “You don’t wanna go down this road, Sister.”

“Fuck you,” she pulled her head back to pull off a Saint-inspired move.

Phasing through him, the two spun out into the ascendant plane yet again. Falling forward, Terin felt her scream escape her throat, the wind swallowing all sound. Grabbing her last second, he caught her wrist to keep her from falling into the abyss. Terin’s toes were on the edge of the world; the only thing anchoring her was the man she'd brought there.

Terin tried to draw on her Light, finding Darkness instead. It swirled and stewed, the sensation hauntingly familiar as realization dawned on her. What she _felt_... the _pull..._ it _**wasn't**_ their Light.

Silver eyes rounded out in terror as the Drifter pulled her back, his expression hardened yet somehow unphased. He knew, had known all along.

She and the man she knew so little about we’re one and the same.

Their draw wasn't Light... it was Darkness.

Lightning flashed silently in the distance, the silhouette of things she had nightmares of striking fear deep within her. Sharp angles and dark figures lit in the inky skyline of the plane, voices whispering ever so faintly. 

She had been lost. Lightless. Dreaming of falcons and pyramids. A vision had led her to the shard of the Traveler… paired with a warning.

She froze, her rage replaced with terror.


	4. Otherness

_"Maybe you leave your first apocalypse. But your second one never leaves you." —The Drifter_

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

_"Penny for your thoughts," Cayde intertwined his fingers with Terins as they lay in bed together._

_"Hm?"_

_"You're distracted," he said, squeezing her hand._

_Terin sighed, turning in his arms so that her chin was on his chest. "Have you ever been ascendant?"_

_"Me?" He blinked, cobalt optics focusing in on her. "No," he shook his head. "Vex timeloops. Fallen transporters. No Hive. I leave that mumbo-jumbo to you and Eris." He flashed a grin. "Why?"_

_Terin inhaled. "There's this feeling," she began to explain. "Like being caught in a web mine. But colder._ **_So_ ** _much colder."_

_"Okay?"_

_"It's our world, but not. Like a pocket dimension almost? And the wind, so much wind. It deafens you."_

_Cayde sat up, resting his back against the wall as he dragged her onto his lap. "Come here." He wrapped his arms around her as she settled into him._

_"It's oppressive. All consuming. Hopeless…" Terin trailed off. "I see things,_ **_hear_ ** _things. Each plane is supposed to be its own throne world, like islands across a sea. But I think… I think it's more than that."_

_"Have you talked with anyone about this?"_

_Terin shook her head. "And let them think I've lost it like Osiris?"_

_"Good point."_

_"Used to only happen when I was on the Dreadnaught. Even under Crota's oversoul, I_ **_barely_ ** _felt it. It only lasted while I was_ **_in_ ** _the plane. But lately…"_

_Cayde's optics narrowed. "Are you feeling it now? The cold?"_

_"Yes," she admitted quietly._

_"Here," Cayde drew on his solar energy, warming them both. "Better?"_

_Terin couldn't help but smile. "Thank you."_

_Cayde reached, mechanical fingers running through her hair. "Honestly, I was beginning to worry."_

_"What?"_

_"Everything you've gone through, and you haven't cracked? Beginning to think I was dating a sociopath."_

_"Cracked?" she asked, confused._

_"We all do at some point. Look at your teammate. He's been talking to the sweeper bot for weeks."_

_Her brow arched. "You_ **_know_ ** _the sweeper bots speak, right?"_

_"They do?"_

_Terin laughed._

_"There's my girl," orange backlighting flashed her a smile. "Now. This feeling. Last I checked, we're not in an ascendant plane. So what changed?"_

_"Ghaul. The war. Losing my Light." Terin pulled herself closer, letting herself conform to the hard lines of his Exo frame." I think there's something_ **_wrong_ ** _with me."_

 _"There's nothing wrong with you. You're human. Mostly. Technically. You know what I mean," Cayde rambled. "I see everything in ones and zeroes, but your big beautiful mind sees things differently._ **_Feels_ ** _things differently. If you're really worried about it, I'd ask Ikora. But can you promise me something?"_

_Terin sat back, staring into unwavering blue optics. "Anything."_

_"Keep a low profile about it? I couldn't stand it if the Order ever put you under investigation. They're like vultures to a slaughter."_

_"You big softie," she teased, nudging his solid frame._

_"Only for you, kid."_

* * *

The Drifter yanked Terin's arm, pulling her into his chest as they phased back to reality. Back in the annex, his mote bank still intact, the room seemed oddly bright in contrast to the plane they had come from. Shaking violently, she clung to him. 

Wrapping his arms around her, he gently stroked her hair, her lithe frame dwarfed by his own. He could feel her fear as it rolled off of her, a vulnerability he'd never have expected. "You're alright. I've got ya," he shushed her, softening himself so that she could melt into his hold.

"What was that?" Terin shook her head, burying it in his chest. "How? How did you…?"

His voice was deep in her ear, barely a whisper. "That _wasn't_ me." He wished he could say that it was; wished that he could wield such power.

Terin pulled from him, the raging torrents of terror and electricity settling into a harmonic buzz. "What?" she asked, confusion written on her face.

"All I did was jump us across the tower. Whatever _that_ was… was all you, Sister."

"But—" Terin studied him, her face draining of color. Thoughts run rampant behind her eyes, nearly visible gears turning as she tried to think through the events. 

"You need to eat something." Placing his hands on her shoulders, he guided her back, popping open a hidden panel. A small room sat inside with a lined cot and packed bags. Terin eyed him as he led her to the bedding, setting her down. "Didn't think I slept on the Derelict every night, did ya?"

She made no comment, merely looking around the space.

"Here," he crouched, digging into a side pocket of one of his bags. "It's oatmeal raisin. All they had left."

Terin tentatively took the nutrition bar he was offering her, peeling back the wrapper, sniffing it. "I'm sorry," she apologized quietly, nibbling on the end. "I don't know… I don't _know_ what's wrong with me."

His brow arched, clearly not expecting an apology on her end. "Who said anything's wrong with you?" he asked, procuring a flask of water.

The Drifter held it out for her to drink. "I—" Terin cut herself off, taking a swig. "There's something _wrong_ with my Light," she admitted in a whisper.

"Hate to break it to ya, but that _wasn't_ Light," he said pointedly, pulling a chair around to sit.

Tears welled, angry confusion consuming her. "I'm not…"

"I know you're not. But something inside of you _is_."

Her eyes met his, defiance written on her face. "And you?"

The Drifter's eyes narrowed. "What I do ain't Light if that's what you're askin'."

"They say—"

"Fuck them," he bit. "Only two other souls alive that know what I do or how I do it. Just because I don't fall into your Vanguard's little classist system doesn't make me the enemy, ya hear?"

"The Nine. Your visions… Orin..."

"Don't go bringing that lunatic into this," he growled, snatching the bar from her hand to take a generous bite before handing it back. "Besides, my visions," he continued with a full mouth. "Were _dreams_. Not me happy-skipping into some ascendant throne world—"

"That wasn't a throne world," Terin cut him off, shaking her head in disagreement. "Throne worlds have feeling, purpose. That was… bigger."

"Bigger?" he asked skeptically, a brow raising.

"How is it you were faster than me?" Terin asked abruptly, her eyes finally refocusing.

"Don't worry about that."

"Wouldn't have something to do with your _otherness_ , would it?"

"Shouldn't I be the one askin' the questions?" he countered.

"Why are you packed?" she fired back.

"Why are you so nosy?"

"You know what?" Terin stood, lightheaded and off-balance. "I have to go—" she began, falling forward. The Drifter sprung up, catching her before she hit the floor. "What's…?" her words slurred.

Drifter bent, scooping her up in his arms with ease. "Heavier than you look, ain't ya?" he scoffed with a smirk. "Damn Warlock owes me."

"What did you do?" Terin's question faded as she did, succumbing to the draw of sleep. As soon as her head fell lax, he laid her down on the cot.

Ensuring she was asleep, he pulled his Ghost, its red optic casting the room in a crimson glow. "Contact Bray," he ordered. "Tell her we've got a problem."

  
  


* * *

_It was no secret that the Drifter resented his Light. One hundred thousand deaths in a year, he was both dependent-on and hateful-of the gift he hadn't asked for._

_Drawn to the outer edges of the system, only a handful of his crew remained. Hyper-paranoid that it was more than just the slithering Darkness killing guys off in their sleep, it quickly had become every man for himself; their Light the only lifeline left to their meager existence on the abominably cold planet._

_They'd all gone crazy, to be sure, the mind playing sick tricks on a person when they're caught in the ever-revolving cycle of life and death._

_It wasn't until they had lost their Light that the Drifter found any clarity. Gun drawn on the man to his left, a barrel pointed at him from the right. A standoff that only he would live to tell the tale of._

_For months he had felt the heavy suppression of his Light, the icy monoliths determined to snuff the life out of them all. Lightless, time seemed to still. He couldn't remember if it had been hours, days, …years? since his last shot rang out. As quickly as it had gone, his Light returned, his Ghost awakening._

_Rather than hope, the feeling they should have had, the two felt desperation. No ship. No fuel. No protection against the cold and the creatures on that god-forsaken planet. So they hunted, taking weeks to track down each Ghost of his fallen crew._

_"I'm proud of you."_

_His Ghost's last words had been a lie as he kit-bashed its pieces with the others to harness the Darkness._

_Gambit was born._

_The Derelict was built._

_Light and life had new meaning for him. Though old Shadows were quick to remind him of his trespasses. And old girlfriends… well, if he'd call her that, were quicker still in ruining his newfound appreciation for life._

_Having passed whatever test he hadn't known he was taking, he found himself saddled with the Haul._

**_Play the game._ **

_A pawn caught between the balance of Light and Dark all because he wanted something better. Dredgen be damned, he was a Drifter with one last bet to make._

* * *

Terin woke, a Ghost she didn't recognize hovering just above her face. Trying to move, she realized she couldn't, arms and legs bound to the cot. "Immafuckinkillyou," she slurred, the Drifters silhouette coming into view.

"Maybe one day," he chuckled. "But not today, Sweetness."

"Untieme," Terin demanded, pulling at whatever had her caught. 

He smirked. "Gotta say our safe word first," he teased.

"Where's Svet?" she enunciated with a bite.

"You _named_ it?" The Drifter asked, surprised. "Typical. Don't worry. He's safe. Got em' right here." He held up a small ice block, Svet's optic turned lilac through the prism, her Ghost frozen in place.

"What did you _do_?" Terin seethed.

"Thing is, I've been around. Seen a lot of things. Things you wouldn't _believe._ But you…" He pulled the chair close, sitting just beside her. Forcing her head to swivel, Terin realized she wasn't tied, but trapped in the same mysterious ice that her Ghost was. "You're something else. God Slayer. Savior. Travelers Chosen. The _epitome_ of Light," he snarled. "Flirtin' with Darkness."

"What?"

"All Light is, is energy. Void, Arc, Solar… they're nothing more than fundamental concepts that govern the universe as we know it. But you Guardians and your dogma… Speakers had your lot convinced that each was special and unique, like some religious sects. Hell, I bet you didn't even know you could _use_ Void until your Vanguard buddies told you so."

"You have two seconds to make your point before I slit your throat," she growled, the energy he spoke of coursing through her heated veins.

"Heh," he chuckled. "Always admired that moxie of yours. My _point_ , before you so rudely interrupted, is that you've got a little something extra. Lil' spark of Darkness and half a dash of some impossible shit."

"Quit talking in riddles, dammit!"

"Something happened to you that wasn't supposed to happen yet."

"What?"

"You've been _touched._ By Darkness."

"That can't… no." Terin shook her head, refusing to buy into his theories. "No."

"Happens to the best of us," he winked before standing. "I'd love to tell ya more but I'm already late for a meeting. See you star side." Hefting his bag over his shoulder he turned to leave.

"You can't _leave_ me like this," Terin pulled at the ice.

"It'll wear off in a few." The Drifter popped the panel, the darkness of night greeting her.

"Wait!" she called out. "The others... that know what you are... they're from my visions, right?" He paused, turning his head to eye her. "The Hourglass and the Forgotten Blade?"

The Drifter's eyes flashed in the low light as his Ghost de-materialized. "I _told_ you to stay clear of that lunatic. Now, look where it's gotten you."

Terin tugged at her wrists. "Can they do this too?"

He simply smirked before ducking through the threshold, popping the panel back to ensure himself a head start. Stepping out into the annex's corridor, he shrugged his hood over his head before slinking toward the transmat zone. 

One foot in front of the other, he forced himself away from Terin. She was a mystery unlike any other, an anomaly like himself. He knew what lie ahead and _still_ she defied those odds. The draw between them, the pull he'd been feeling for years, suddenly made that much more sense.

And she'd thought it was her Light... 

Freeing Terin's Ghost, the machine spun, its optic practically narrowing at him. "Tell Rey thanks," he said. "And tell Terin to pack a sweater." Flashing a signature smirk, he disappeared from the Tower for the last time.


	5. Goodbyes

_Forward momentum, buddy. That's what Cayde would want. And, uh… what else can we do? -Amanda Holliday on Cayde's death._

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

Svet flitted as fast as he could toward his Guardian, finding her as she cycled through her supers to free herself of the icy restraints. "Hold on, I think I've got this."

"What _is_ this?"

"I don't know. I'm running analysis now." Svet circled around the cot, his Light attempting to breakdown the molecular structure. "It's _not_ ice."

"No shit," Terin snapped. "Sorry. Really, really, bad day."

"If it helps, it's technically night now."

She groaned. "How long were we out?

"Twelve hours."

"I'm going to kill him," she muttered, yanking her wrist hard enough it hurt.

"While I typically don't condone Guardian on Guardian violence outside the Crucible, I'd be more than happy to assist… if I could."

"If?"

"The Drifter transmatted off of the platform. Signal scrambled the second he left. I can't trace it."

"Two shots. One through his dick the other through his head..."

"You are dark," her Ghost spun, still analyzing. She shot him a lethal glare. "It was a joke. I do that sometimes."

Terin gave up, resting back in the cot that smelled so much like the man she wanted to strangle. "Remember yesterday when you finally convinced me to go through Cayde's things, and you asked, 'what's the worse that will happen'?"

"I do."

"This. _This_ is the worst that could happen. Uldren is alive. The Drifter is a dick. And apparently, I've been corrupted by Darkness?"

"To be fair, you knew about the Drifter."

Terin smirked before exhaling, pushing down her nerves. "Do you think he's right?"

"No," Svet answered automatically. "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Factoring in everything you have experienced--"

"Things _all_ Guardians experience," she cut in.

"Not true. You were the first to go Ascendant. If you'd like, I could mathematically show you exactly how much time you've spent on various planes."

"Going Ascendant doesn't _corrupt_."

"No. But if you were to apply Sword Logic--"

"Not right now," Terin snapped, screwing her eyes shut. "One thing at a time."

Svet set back to work, letting her stew in her thoughts. Images of Uldren and the Drifter swam in her head, an overload of information threatening her sanity. All she had wanted was a few days to sort things out. After discovering she'd gone to Titan on a goose-chase, to be met with a prerecorded message from the Drifter, she decided she was taking a break. And now... 

"Got it," Svet buzzed happily. "Which would you like? The good news or bad news?"

"Hit me."

"I can't break it. You're going to have to hope that he was at least honest about it wearing off."

"Okay? And the good?"

"That was the good news. Or the _least_ bad, depending on how you want to look at this."

"Svet…"

"Whatever this is, is built from something outside my spectrum. Energy I've never seen before."

"Wait. Eli said all Light is energy, right? What makes this different that you can't see it?"

"Seven years together and now you're interested in the fundamental—"

"Svet!" she snapped again.

"Right. Sorry. If Void represents gravity and Arc is electromagnetism, then Solar would be the force that holds it all together."

"And the fourth?"

"Nuclear fusion," Svet stated plainly. "The weak force of decay."

Terin's eyes blew wide. "My arms are going to decay?"

"I'm not sure it's as literal as that. But it is fascinating."

"Fascinating. Infuriating…" Terin trailed off, screwing her eyes shut. "Any news otherwise?"

"Tower is still on lockdown. All outbound communications have been cut off. And you have about forty-two messages from Commander Zavala."

"Any from Ikora?"

"Just one. Says to find her and that you'll know where."

Terin fell silent, stopping herself from sarcastically suggesting that they take a vacation.

* * *

_"How did I not know these springs were here?" Terin asked, dipping her toe into the sulfur scented waters Lady Efrideet had brought her to._

_"Best kept secret on the Peak, "she laughed from her seated position on the shallow pool's other end." Looked like you could take a load off after Iron Banner this week."_

_"Have anything that can take a load off the last couple of years?"_

_"Used to be a bar at the base of the mountain that specialized in contraband ether concentrate. It won't erase years of fighting, but it'll make you forget about it for a night. You should ask Cayde about it."_

_"Oh?" Terin asked, sinking into the hot waters._

_"You two are dating, right?"_

_"Gossip spreads this far?"_

_"Gossip about you would spread all the way back to the colony," she laughed. "Okay, so I have to know. Exo tongues—"_

_"Efrideet!" Terin's jaw dropped, her face stained red with embarrassment_

_"Oh, don't be so modest," she scoffed. "Unless you two haven't...?"_

_"That's really none of your business," Terin crossed her arms over her chest defensively._

_"Fine," she held up her hands in surrender. "Don't tell me. I'll ask Shiro. Better yet, I'll have him show me," she winked._

_"Does Saladin know you talk like this?" Terin's brows furrowed, a playful smile tugging at her lips._

_"Nah. He acts like I'm his baby sister. If he ever found out that I think about 'Ro like that, he'd sic his wolves on him."_

_Terin laughed. "To answer your question. Yes. They do have tongues. Sleeved in silicone like other organs—" she cut herself off, smacking her forehead._

_It was Efrideet's turn to laugh. "I bet Cayde is wild, isn't he?"_

_"Not answering that one," she countered flatly._

_"To be in love," the other Hunter sing-songed._

_"Oh, we're not," Terin shook her head. "We've barely started dating."_

_"And?"_

_"And?"_

_Efrideet eyed her. "Have you seen the way he looks at you?"_

_Terin found herself blushing again, the heat of the spring not helping._

_"Tell me, you've slain gods. Took down Aksis. What's next?"_

_"I don't know," she answered honestly, letting herself float. "Things have been kind of quiet. What about you?"_

_"I'll kick around here for a while. Help out with Banner before I go home."_

_"Back to the colony?"_

_"It's peaceful there," she hummed. "You and Cayde should visit. Let yourself really unwind and relax."_

_"They'll never let him leave the Tower," Terin smiled. "Let alone head out into the field."_

_"Hm," Efrideet shrugged. "Maybe one day."_

* * *

An hour later, Terin was scaling the Tower's walls, ducking under security cameras to make her way toward the Old Tower. As many caches and safehouses Cayde had throughout the system, the number he had inside the wall was staggering. His favorite, and subsequently Ikora's favorite as well, was just below the armory. Only accessible through the old hangar, Amanda unknowingly kept watch on its entrance for years.

Armed with her Last Word, as fitting as it was, she navigated the path, finding the Light of not one but two Ghosts in the small alcove.

"I cannot explain how sorry I am, _milaya_ ," Saint-14's thick accent was low, the two unaware of Terin's presence. "I had no time to tell you."

"You could have opened a secure line… sent a messenger, something," Ikora countered.

"And tell you what? Terin would have come. We both know what she would have done. That nosy Warlock from the Order already thinks she killed him. I will not risk you both."

"You're right," she conceded. "But this could break her."

"If only we could use Osiris's Sundial," Saint chuckled. "Bring Cayde back. Set things right again."

 _Osiris…_ the gears in Terin's head began to turn, fragments of a plan popping into place.

"Have you heard from him?" Ikora asked.

"Not since he asked me to speak to them."

"Them?" Terin whispered, trying to piece details together. Geppetto and Ophiuchus spun, the Light from their shells illuminating her. A shotgun ratcheted, Void energy building between the couple. "It's me," she said quickly.

"Oh, thank goodness," Ikora rushed forward, pulling Terin into a hug. "The Drifter left hours ago. I was beginning to worry."

"That I'd run off and do something stupid like kill Uldren?"

"Terin," Saint addressed her. "I was given no choice. The pesky Warlock threatened to expose—"

"It's fine," she waved her hand dismissively, knowing just how convincing Aunor was when she was extorting people.

"He has no memory. No clue of what he has done."

"Convenient," she muttered bitterly.

"Ikora has told me of what Zavala said. Of the Vanguard duty and Ace."

"Where _is_ Ace?" Ikora asked, noting the irregular cannon in Terin's left hand.

"With Eli." Terin's eyes narrowed. "Wait, how did you know he left?"

The Warlock's face fell. "I made a bargain with him," she admitted. "Your safety for his passage."

"Passage where?"

"The Derelict. He's leaving the system. Abandoning the city."

 _Abandoning you_ , a voice said in Terin's head.

"Where's Uldren?"

"Still in the Shore," Saint answered.

Terin stood, torn in entirely too many directions. She needed Ace back. Needed to inform Petra. Needed to follow the otherwise insane flow of thoughts that had her mulling Osiris's name over and over again in the back of her mind. Needed to know what she was. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled. "I need Eli's transmat coordinates."

Ikora shook her head. "I erased them."

"Then I need a ship."

"The hangar is on lockdown," Saint said. "They would track you."

"Then I need a way out of the Tower," she snapped, frustration mounting.

"Ask nicely!" A voice echoed from above them.

"Amanda?" Svet angled upward.

"Help me with this grate, would ya?" A blonde head of hair came into sight. Obliging, Saint jumped up, smacking his palm against the heavy steel to push the grate aside. "Ya know there are easier ways to get down there, right?"

Ikora smiled as Saint knelt, ready to give her a boost up through the man-sized none of them had noticed above. Terin was second to go, Saint giving her the extra height she needed to triple jump her way out.

"How did--?" Terin began to ask Amanda.

"Oh, I've always known about your guy's secret clubhouse," she laughed. "Now that this place is empty, voices echo."

"What are you doing here?" Ikora asked, dusting herself off.

"I live here."

"What?"

"Oh yeah, over in bay two. Don't get me wrong, the quarters y'all offered me were great and all, but it's just so noisy in the new tower." Putting her fists on her hips, she looked around. "Besides, this is home, ya know? Practically grew up here. Now, what is this about needing an escape? Have anything to do with why you went all whackadoo earlier?"

Ikora eyed Terin with an arched brow.

"Partly," she answered, her voice laced with guilt. "I need to—"

"Ah," Ikora cut her off. "The less we all know, the better. Culpable deniability."

"But we already know where she's going," Saint said, replacing the grate.

"We don't, actually."

"Okay. So," Amanda began to pace. "If I were to casually mention how the Vanguard was unable to secure the ducts that led down to Trevor—"

"Who?" Saint asked.

"The killer Zamboni," Terin answered, the Titan's head tilting to the side in further confusion.

"And how if you take the lifts down rather than up…" Amanda continued, trailing off with a sly smile.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Terin smiled.

"Oh, I don't know. Saving the system once or twice."

"Nine times," Svet corrected her. "But only if you're counting raid bosses. Then there's Valus Ta'aaurc, Sepkis Prime, Taniks, that giant shank—"

"Thanks, Svet," Terin felt herself blush under the weight of her achievements.

"I suppose I could also nonchalantly mention how I recently dropped off a whole mess of parts to the Farm. Comms, fuel pumps, a couple of stealth drives—"

"What?" Ikora spoke up.

Amanda shrugged. "Hawthorne asked."

The Warlock pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"You have allies, Terin," Saint stepped forward, taking her by the shoulders. "More than you think. More still, that would gladly see you hunt down that rat-man."

"You also have enemies. Who would use you to get to _him_. Remember that."

"Why does this feel like y'all are all saying goodbye?" Amanda asked, eyes darting between them all.

"Svet, grab me my raid loadouts? And my Crucible gear?" Terin asked her Ghost, forming plans in her head. "Dreambane and Reverie Dawn too?" Ikora turned, silently questioning her requests. "When I come home," Terin answered, hoping that would be enough to quell the Warlock.

"Take this," Saint held out his Paradox, the shotgun comically large compared to Terin's tiny frame.

"I couldn't—"

"No. I couldn't. Be here without you, that is. It is the least I can do."

"Thank you."

"Wow, okay guys, you really have me tearing up over here," Amanda sniffled.

Ikora came in for another hug, her small acts of affection more common since the war. "My comms are always open. If you can't reach me, you can always find Asher. He trusts no one, especially the Order."

Amanda jumped forward, wrapping herself around both women. "I'll take care of the Colonel. Maybe fix that feedback relay in your ship while you're gone."

Terin laughed, overwhelmed by their support. "Send me off to fight a god, and I barely get a wave goodbye," she joked. "Girl goes on a quick out-and-back to retrieve a gun, and you all turn into emotional wrecks."

"Yes, well, expect a party when you get back. As is tradition."

The three women broke free of their embrace, the tension of the moment building again. "If this all goes sideways, you guys divvy my vault. Let Suraya have the Gjallarhorn, though. She'd get a kick out of it."

"You give it to her when you get back."

Terin inhaled deeply before making her way across the dark hangar toward the descent into the wall. Svet lighting the way the two made their way through the labyrinth, avoiding pitfalls and Trevor until they reached the lifts. Altering its course, her Ghost let the lift lower.

"It really did feel like you were saying goodbye," Svet said. "Think Saint might have shed a tear or two under that helm."

"That's because they know it's more than a simple fetch mission."

Stepping out through an access panel, she felt the cold snap of the north side of the wall, the empty snow-covered expanse in front of her more daunting than it had ever been.

"Where to?"

"Felwinter."


	6. Favors Owed

_"If the Fallen have a name for you, I'm sure it's an insult. You should be proud." -Shiro-4_

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

Terin made it to the base of the mountain by morning, having jacked an old jumpship from the boneyard. She knew Amanda kept one or two operational in there should there ever be another attack on the city. Turning off all radar she flew dark, keeping herself unseen by the Vanguard at low altitude.

“The Derelict is a freight hauler,” Svet said from beside her. “Best estimates are that he’s using the Earth's rotational pull to save fuel. He wouldn't have cleared Luna yet."

“How much fuel does he need to make it to the Shore?”

“Knowing him, he has more than enough to get him to the edge of the system and into the next.”

“Let’s say he didn’t.”

“A little less than we have right now. Though I couldn’t begin to factor in the weight of the Haul and— wait. What are you planning?”

“Something… inspired,” she smirked, dropping the ship down in altitude to skim along the waterline.

\--

_“I’ll see your bet and raise you,” Terin looked to her Ghost then back to Shiro. “Twenty thousand.”_

_Shiro sat back, his optics flickering to his cards. With a quick nod, his Ghost transmatted twenty thousand glimmer to the rickety table between them. “Alright, let’s see what you’ve got.”_

_“No, no, no,” Cayde tisked from beside Terin, looking all too smug. “You're the guest. We_ **_insist._ ** _”_

_“Ladies first.”_

_“Age before beauty,” Cayde countered._

_“You called the game--”_

_“She doubled the pot!”_

_“Quit bein’ so cheap!”_

_“Guys!” Terin cut in with a laugh. “Same time?”_

_Shiro’s face set in a flat expression. “Fine. Three. Two. One--”_

_“Straight flush,” Terin announced proudly the same time he threw down his four of a kind._

_“SON OF A--!” Shiro stood abruptly, Terin’s Ghost quickly grabbing all of the glimmer before it spilled to the floor._

_“Knew she had you!” Cayde roared._

_“How?!” Shiro began to pace. “I saw you discard that eight!”_

_“Cause spades always win, baby,” Cayde laughed. “So, whaddya say? New ship? Couple of sparrows?”_

_Terin shook her head. “Savings.”_

_Cayde’s face dropped. “Party pooper.”_

_Shiro slammed his hands down onto the table, face tilting as he leaned in toward Terin. “You’re a cheat.”_

_Terin leaned back, Cayde wrapping his arm around her. “Learned from the best,” she winked._

_“You two deserve each other,” he muttered._

_“Drinks?” Terin stood, smiling brightly. “We can head down to that place in Old Town? My treat,” she tried to entice the other Exo._

_Shiro pointed a finger at her. “Expensive ones.”_

_“Let me grab a jacket.”_

_Terin left the men to themselves while she dipped into the bedroom of her and Cayde’s housing unit, digging through the closet for a more flattering jacket than the one she typically wore. Quickly mussing her entirely too long hair she pinched her cheeks to give herself some color before heading back._

_“You’re a lucky son of a bitch, you know that. Right?” Terin overheard Shiro saying as she neared the living quarters._

_“She’s pretty great, huh?”_

_“I meant what I said. You two are perfect for each other.”_

_Cayde paused. “Can I ask you something?”_

_“Uh, sure.”_

_“If anything ever happens to me--”_

_“Woah, Woah, Woah--”_

_“I’m being serious,” Cayde cut him off. “If anything should happen… errant sparrow accident… obscure Hive god sits on me…”_

_“Cayde.”_

_“Look out for her, okay? I know she’s got the whole Super-Guardian thing going on but… she needs_ **_someone_ ** _. Weight of this, of what we do… she needs a champion.”_

_“That what you call yourself?” Shiro chuckled._

_“I try.”_

_“Sap.”_

_“Yeah, well…”_

_Terin smiled to herself before rounding the corner. “Ready?”_

\--

Shiro never played cards against her again. A fact that she was immediately reminded of upon seeing him, lurking just out of sight. 

Rather than transmat to the top she climbed, ensuring she slipped in unnoticed. She doubted that Saladin would apprehend or stop her, but ultimately his allegiance was to the city. It was better for both her and Shiro that Zavala and the Order thought she wasn't there.

“Shiro,” she whispered, crouching just behind the Exo as he worked. “Shiro!” she chucked a rock at his shin. He spun, surprised, opening his faceplates to speak. “Not here. Up the pass.” His expression dropped, hating the series of jumps. “I’ll owe you.”

He shook his head as she dodge rolled away, using her invisibility to by-pass Saladin’s ever-watchful wolves before making her trek up the mountain pass. 

Twenty minutes later the man found her well out of earshot of the temple, tucked into a small cave to avoid the howling winds. “What are you doing here?” he chuckled, curious.

“I need a favor. I will bribe you with just about anything.”

His face plates formed a smirk as he crossed his arms. “Must be one hell of a favor.”

“I need you to send an encrypted message to Petra Venj asking her to shoot out the fuel tanks on the Derelict,” she winced with a rueful smile.

“That’s all?” Shiro asked sarcastically. 

“If you could scramble the trace so the Vanguard can’t pin it on either of you that’d be great.”

“What have you _done_?” he asked with a knowing look.

“Nothing. Yet.”

Shiro shook his head. “You know, when Cayde said you were demanding I always assumed he meant in the bedroom.”

Terin’s face flattened. “He never said that.”

“He liked to talk when he drank,” Shiro shrugged. “Usually about you. Had that gear-driven heart of his all wound up.”

She smiled. “What I'd give to have him back.” Memories of her drunkenly pleading with the silent Traveler, offering her Light in exchange for his life falling on deaf ears. “Name your price.”

“There’s better-qualified techs in the Tower,” he pointed out.

“Even if that were true, I can’t go back.”

“You’re in deep, huh?”

“You could say that.”

“Alright. I’ll do it. Keep your bribes though.”

“Really?”

“Think Cayde would have ever let me live with myself if I didn't help you?”

Terin shook her head. “I don’t want you to do this out of guilt. If the Vanguard finds out--”

“I'd like to see them blaming me for helping one of my closest friends.”

“Thank you.”

“Any chance you’re gonna tell me _why_ you’re sneaking behind the Vanguards back?”

“The less you know—”

“Got it,” he held up his hands.

“Thank you,” Terin stepped forward to pull him into a hug. “Truly.”

“You take care of yourself, okay?”

“Okay,” she smiled, disappearing off the cliff edge.

Reappearing in the cramped flight deck of the jump ship Svet materialized. “Where to now?”

“Suraya. She has unclassed ships that will break orbit. _Fast_ ones.”

“Zavala put out an announcement looking for you. They know you’ve left. First place they’ll look is the Farm.”

“That’s why we're not meeting her there.”

“You’re not?”

“Nope. We’re gonna go to church instead.”

—

_“That it?”_

_“Not quite,” Devrims voice came through broken static. “Try left.”_

_“We tried left.”_

_“Try right, then.”_

_“There?”_

_“No, no, no. Worse than before.”_

_“You get that I’m not a service bot?”_

_“And_ **_you_ ** _learned an invaluable lesson, haven’t you?”_

_“That you’re a cheat?”_

_“You cannot cheat at chess. Nor should you bet on it. You Hunters and—”_

_“Woah, there buddy, easy what you say about Hunters,” Cayde came through the comms._

_“Prime example,” Devrim chuckled._

_“Cayde? Wait, these are local frequencies. Where are—?”_

_“Ol’ Suraya needed some supplies brought from the tower. Thought I’d lend a hand.”_

_“See?_ **_That_ ** _is how it’s done. A person shouldn’t have to lose a fool-hearted bet.”_

 _“Wait, Terin lost a bet? To_ **_you_ ** _?”_

_“Try to not sound so surprised.”_

_“Wha- what was it?” Cayde laughed through the line._

_“Chess.”_

_“He cheated,” Terin cut in._

_“You can’t cheat at chess,” Devrim countered again._

_“Actually—”_

_“Leave it to the King of the Hunters,” Devrim chuckled._

_“You hear that?” Cayde asked Terin._

_“Mmmhm.”_

_“Hear what?” Devrim cut in, his voice clearer._

_“Sounds like… a bet.”_

_“Oh, so you want to lose too?”_

_“Definitely a bet,” Terin laughed._

_“I’ll put on the tea,” Devrim said with an edge in his voice._

_—_

“You know,” Devrim called out, his voice echoing through the church. “A lot of people are looking for you.”

“Anyone here?”

“No one visits anymore, I’m afraid. Although, there is this one Titan that likes to lurk around. Doubt she’s looking for you.”

“I need help,” Terin made it up to the final platform.

“Of course.”

“I need a ship.”

“Okay?”

“And Suraya needs plausible deniability.”

Devrim clicked his tongue. “What _have_ you done?”

“Got into a disagreement with the Vanguard.”

“Not the first time.”

“Uldren is… back.”

“The Prince or what-have-you that--”

“Him.”

“I see. So you need a ship to… exact vengeance?”

“Something like that,” she bit her lip. “I have a savings account with a less than reputable bank in the City. There should be more than enough to cover the cost of materials and labor.”

“And the Vanguard?”

“Knows nothing about it. The only person who did was,” she paused. “Cayde.”

“Alright then,” he set his sniper aside. “Might want to mute yourself.”

Terin pressed a button on her earpiece before sitting, pulling her Ghost to transmit the account information. The private comm line she’d helped him build clicked on, only five people having access: Terin, Devrim, Suraya, Marc, and Fenchurch Everis. The last had proven to be more than lucrative.

“Heya, Suraya?”

_“Devrim? Is everything okay?” her voice cracked through the comms._

“Delightful. Look, as beautiful as it is here I’ve grown rather bored.”

_“Okay?”_

“Think I might want to take up flying. Scout out some new spots?”

_“Alright?”_

“Any chance I can snag one of those ships you’ve been tinkering with?”

_“One of the obscenely expensive ones?”_

“Ah, yes. One of those.”

_“And this has nothing to do with the fact that Terin has fled the Tower and every Guardian from here to the Reef is looking for her?”_

“Ah, no. Not at all.”

_“Right.”_

“Would it help if I told you I’ve just come into a rather large sum of glimmer?”

_“How large?”_

“Enormous.”

_“And how's that?”_

“Great Aunt Tessy died. God rest her soul."

_“Mhm. I suppose I should tell you that the navigation is touch and go. Holds almost double the fuel reserves the standard jump ship does. Not that you’ll be breaking orbit?”_

“Me? Never.”

 _“Amanda verified everything was good to go last month with exception to my_ **_negligence_ ** _in obtaining a tracking module from the Vanguard.”_

“Shame, that.”

_“Means they couldn’t find you if you got lost or hurt.”_

Terin shook her head. “Not too worried about that one,” Devrim said cautiously. “Given that I’m not breaking orbit.”

_“Right. One of the techs is on the way now.”_

“Thank you.”

_“Devrim?”_

“Yes?”

_“Please be safe.”_

Terin nodded. “Always,” he said for her. The channel cut out. “Well, bet you’re glad you lost that bet now.”

—

The Drifter jarred awake, a multitude of warnings and alarms all signaling at once, telling him the Derelict was under attack.

Grabbing his gun he sprinted to the observation deck, finding one of the Awoken fighters zipping in and around his ship. Fuel leaked out into the atmosphere-free vacuum of space. “What the hell?!” 

“Can’t imagine what you did,” Petra Venj’s voice came through loud and clear. “But I’m sure this was well deserved.”

“That _bitch_ ,” he seethed, grinding his teeth.

“Not very nice, Germaine.”

“Where is she?!”

“I’m sure she’ll be along shortly. Must say, my day was exceedingly dull until I received her transmission. Thank you for the entertainment.”

“Listen here, Sister,” he pointed a finger at her ship. “You’re gonna—” Petra’ ship flashed away in a blink, back toward the Dreaming City. The Drifters ghost appeared because him, floating anxiously. “Lock everything down. She’s _not_ getting in here.”


	7. Unanswered Questions

_"You're always welcome on the Derelict."_

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

_ Terin left the celebration early, Saint-14's banners flying high above the Tower as the City celebrated. Winding up on Mercury, she approached the Sundial for the last time, finding Osiris tinkering with the device still. _

_ "You should be back in the Tower," Osiris said without looking up. _

_ "I have a question." _

_ The man stood, Sagira floating around his head with grace. "It  _ **_can't_ ** _ be done." _

_ "Why not?" _

_ "Cayde's death was a fixed point in time." _

_ "But Saint--" _

_ "Was lost to the corridors. While he may have died centuries over, he did so inside a time loop. His moment remained in flux until  _ **_you_ ** _ found a path out." _

_ Terin's face fell, any hope she had fading away. _

_ Osiris stepped to her, taking hold of her shoulders. "I am sorry, Terin. Truly. Cayde was a great man." _

_ She smiled, biting back the tears that threatened to ruin a day of celebration. _

_ "The fact that we didn't rip open all of time and space is a miracle in and of itself. The best thing we can do for Cayde now is to honor his memory. That means we must live." _

_ She nodded, letting herself be pulled into a rare hug. "Thank you." _

* * *

Terin transmatted in using codes the Drifter clearly had forgotten he'd given her in his prerecorded transmission. According to Svet, he'd locked down the Derelict, yet somehow she'd gotten past his security systems with the codes he'd given her.

Rematerializing on the all-too-familiar catwalk, she was met with the stubby barrel of a hand cannon. Before the Drifter could pull the trigger, Terin fired off her Golden Gun. One to the knee and one to the chest.

His Ghost materialized, eyeing her warily as her super was still active. It  _ knew  _ what she could do.

"Go on. Bring him up," Terin snapped at the red-eyed machine.

The Drifter rematerialized, disoriented and off-balance as her last shot went through his head. His Ghost spun wildly as her super burned off. "Wait," she stopped it. "Let him stew for a second." It glared at her. "We both know he deserves it." Equipping her Last Word, she cocked the lever. 

"The hell was that for you fucking psycho?!" He snarled, appearing yet again. The cool metal of the cannon forced him down onto his knees, his hands up in surrender.

"Ace. Now." Terin pushed against his forehead, holding out her other hand flat.

"Alright," he said, cobalt eyes on her as he slowly reached for Cayde's gun in his waistband. Grabbing it, he held it out to her. "Easy, Sister."

"I should kill you."

"Probably. Gotta say, though, you're a damn sight when you're terrifying like this," he drawled with a smirk, trusting her mercy.

With a flick of her wrist, she shot, the concussive bang loud enough to deafen her ears.

"Fuck!" he cried out, gripping his shoulder. Blood seeped from the hole she blasted through it. "The hell is wrong with you?!"

" _That_ , was for leaving me," she said cooly, relieving him of his personal gun. She bent, speaking into his ear. "Next time, the third shot goes through your Ghost."

"You're a cold bitch," he moaned, his Ghost busily healing him.

"And the fastest shot in the system," Svet popped up to chime in.

"Noted," the Drifter groaned. Terin had Svet store the Drifter's Trust as his own Ghost finished healing him. "So what? You're pissed, you break in, blow a few holes in me?"

"I didn't  _ break  _ in," she countered, tucking the canon into her gun belt. "I used the codes you gave on  _ Titan _ ."

He glared at her, sizing her up, judging her words. "Alright. So you're pissed, had  _ Petra  _ blow up my ship—"

"Fuel tanks—"

"And decide to shoot me like some Shin-wannabe?"

"I have a proposition," Terin cut to the point, examining Ace for damage. 

"Don't know who taught you to negotiate, but this ain't it."

"You're going to tell me  _ exactly  _ what you mean when you said  _ 'touched _ .'"

The Drifter smirked at her. "Not my job, Sweetness."

"And then you're going to take me to the edge of the system."

"To hell I am."

"You get that I can just kill you, right?"

The Drifter paused, running his tongue over his canine, eyes skating over her form. "How do you expect to get us to the edge without fuel?" he growled, pulling himself to his feet.

"We get more," she answered as though it were obvious. 

"No fuel stations in space, Sweetheart."

"Spider has fuel."

"And a pet Crow in his pocket." He stepped toward her.

Terin's eyes narrowed. "You knew?"

"Picked up on the gossip when you passed out," he cautioned her temper, pointing a finger in her face. "I don't give a rats ass what you do to that prick, but if the Spider has him, there's no way you're getting your fuel. Your best bet is Mars."

"Can't," Terin shook her head.

"Thought you were all buddy-buddy with Baby Bray?"

"Her allegiance is to the Vanguard now," Terin said softly, knowing she projected her hurt. "She and Zavala…"

"No shit?" He smirked.

"Mars is out. Our only option is Spider."

"Assumin' he's gonna barter with you, why you wanna go to the edge so damn bad?"

"That's for me to know." Terin turned, heading to the hall adjacent that led to the rest of the ship.

"Nuh-uh." Drifter followed her, hot on her heels. "Shit don't work like that."

"You're in, or you're out. I  _ can  _ do this without you, but you're not going anywhere without me."

"Look, anything you think I might know is just theory."

Terin stopped, turning to face him. "Humor me then."

"Not until you tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."

She stepped forward, craning her head up to get in his face. "No." The Drifters eyes narrowed, darting to her gun belt. They both moved, him reaching for the gun, her for her knife. The barrel to her stomach backed her against the wall while the blade to his throat stopped him from pulling the trigger. "Don't you get tired of this?"

"Nah," he grinned, eyes darting to her lips.

"I don't have time for this," she growled through clenched teeth.

"And I do?"

"Sure seems like it."

Drifter pushed the barrel against her armor, pulling the lever slowly. "What's at the edge?"

"Should have killed you," she muttered, looking away.

"Rookie mistake. Now tell me. What's so damn important that you've abandoned the Vanguard--?"

"I didn't--"

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter," he warned. "If you hadn't, there'd be an entire damn fleet of ships outside this hull."

Terin exhaled, nostrils flaring. "Osiris."

"All this to go see that whackadoo?"

"He has something I need."

"And what would that be?"

Her eyes narrowed, a sultry smirk spreading across her face. "Not about to dangle your prize just yet."

The Drifter's eyes widened. "Prize?"

"Had you  _ not  _ been a condescending ass, I might have led with that," she said flatly.

He took a step back, holstering his gun. "Takes a whole lotta fuel to fill up the Derelict. Hope you've got something to bargain with."

"Don't worry about it."

"Awfully shady, Sweetness."

Terin smirked. "Rich, coming from you." She pushed past him, pausing for a brief second. "Ever take Ace from me again, and I promise true death will be the least of your worries." 

A shudder ran through him, their draw impossible to ignore. "Where you goin'?"

"Best not worry your pretty little head over that," she said as condescendingly as possible.

"How do you expect us to  _ get  _ to the Shore?"

"Siphon what you need out of my ship," she waved her hand dismissively as she disappeared.

"Shoulda just left," he muttered. " _ Had  _ to go eavesdrop on that damn meeting…"

* * *

_ " _ _ Ready?" Cayde asked, standing alongside Terin. _

_ "Ready," she smiled, fingers hovering beside her gun belt.  _

_ "Three." _

_ "Two." _

_ "One!" _

_ They both drew, firing off their respective hand cannons to hit their targets downrange. _

_ "Hah!" Cayde gloated, proving himself the faster draw. _

_ "Ya know what," Terin said, holstering her Lingering Song. "It's the fingers. All that Exo tech." _

_ He held up a hand, waving the digits. "These?" _

_ "Yeah, those," she laughed, Cayde wrapping his other arm around her waist. _

_ "You didn't seem to mind them last night," he purred. _

_ "That was  _ **_before_ ** _ you brought me all the way out here for target practice." _

_ "Gun safety," he corrected her, citing the made-up reason he'd given Zavala as to why he wouldn't be at work. _

_ Terin smirked. "And is your gun safe?" _

_ "Not in the slightest," he laughed before kissing her. _

_ "One day, I'm  _ **_going_ ** _ to be faster than you." _

_ Cayde bit on her ear lobe, holding her tight. "Over my dead body." _

* * *

Terin and Svet combed the ship, scanning for trackers. "You think he would have found these," Svet said, disabling the third they'd found. "How did the Order get them on board?"

"Guardians during Gambit," she answered, prying another from under a table. "Ever wonder how we end up with fireteams of three?"

"And he doesn't notice?"

"Busy commentating the matches." Terin stood, placing the last tracker on the table. "Set these to reactivate in two days. We can scatter them in the Reef."

"Terin?"

"Hm?"

"What exactly  _ is  _ the plan?" Svet hovered near her face.

"Right now, we worry about fuel."

"But--"

Terin held up her hand. "The less you know, Little Light."

"I can't help but feel like this is going to be dangerous." Svet flitted, its optic as worried as ever.

She smiled. "When is it not?" Svet sighed, dematerializing himself. Making her way through the passages of the ship, she caught up with the Drifter. "Hey," Terin popped her head into the duct of the maintenance room, him having just welded shut the blast holes in his fuel tanks. "No chance you have a shower on board?"

A dark brow raised. "You think I don't shower?"

Her eyes scanned his body, trying her best to not picture him in the shower. "I mean…" 

The Drifters eyes narrowed. "Level below the flight deck. And before you ask, there  _ is  _ soap."

A smirk pulled at Terin's lips. "Full of surprises, aren't you?"

"I'll give you a surprise," he flashed her a sly grin.

"In your dreams, vagrant."

"Ya know," he wiped his hands, pulling himself onto one of the rungs of the ladder that led up to her. "If you're going to hijack my ship and hold me hostage, you really oughta call me Eli."

"Drifter too dirty?" Terin asked. His eyes flashed. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

"But it  _ thrives  _ there," he took a step up toward her like a predator to its prey. "Could skip past all of this petty banter and go straight to the hate sex. Might feel better about you blowing up my ship."

Terin leaned further down the duct, reaching out to push his bandana out of the way. Smiling sweetly, she smacked her palm to his forehead, shoving him back down the short ladder. 

"Long flight to the edge, Sister," he shouted after her. "Might as well make the most of it before one of us  _ actually  _ kills the other!"

* * *

_ T _ _ erin woke with a scream, Omnigul's bone-chattering shriek still ringing in her ears. _

_ "Shit, are you okay?" Cayde sat up beside her, cobalt options frantically searching her face. _

_ Unable to catch her breath, she wrapped herself around him, letting herself break in his arms. _

_ "I've got you," he whispered. "I'm right here." _

_ The two sat in the dark of night for what seemed like hours as she tried to free her mind of the memories that plagued her. _

_ "I'm sorry," she wept softly. "I don't know what triggered it." _

_ "Don't ever be sorry. How many times have you brought me back from my nightmares?" _

_ Terin I inhaled deeply, forcing herself to calm down. "I killed her so long ago…" _

_ "Doesn't matter. Think I don't still hear Taniks?" She stilled in his arms. "C'mon, shower time." _

_ "I don't—" _

_ "It always helps," Cayde said, leaving no argument. "We'll clear your head and go get breakfast." _

_ Terin forced a smile, nodding. _

* * *

Terin showered the events of the last 72 hours away, letting the pine-scented soap lather before massaging the tension from her shoulders. She knew she needed a back rub, but there was no chance she was about to broach that subject with  _ him _ . Even through the rage and resentment, the draw was still there, something in her bristling with unbridled magnetism.

Shooting him had been an effective distraction. Shooting him multiple times… Well, that had felt good. Terin knew she'd acted out of anger, taking her hatred for Uldren out on Eli. A part of her knew she should be worried, that feeding into such dark thoughts and actions was surely the wrong thing to do. But at that moment, it felt so right.

It hadn't been the first time she'd pulled a gun on another Guardian, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Something that she knew he understood. She'd heard the tales, the whispers, of how one rogue Lightbearer always seemed to survive despite the odds. All she had to do was make sure she wasn't part of that statistic.

Water rained down on her face as she tried to work through the problems at hand:

Uldren was now Risen and about to be handed Cayde's position. 

She was suddenly capable of traversing ascendant realms without tincture or portals.

The Drifter could wield Stasis, and he wasn't alone.

In 48 hours' time, she'd made herself a fugitive of the Vanguard, finally burning the bridge between her and Zavala.

And then there was the matter of her off-the-cuff plan, as insane as it was; and  _ how  _ she was going to get to Osiris.

For once in her life, she wished she'd just slept in. 

Terin dried herself off before changing into thin linens. "What if he shoots you?" Svet asked, dematerializing her armor from the floor.

"He won't."

"You seem certain."

Terin slipped into a sweater she'd stolen from Ikora years prior, the fabric hanging loose on her small frame. "He knew I was coming. Yet here I stand."

"For now."

Exiting the room, she followed her nose, the scent of what she hoped wasn't Cabal meat wafting through the ship. Finding the Drifter at a table, she noted that there was only one plate of food, a petty smile curling on his lips. "Woulda made you some, but you were hogging all the hot water."

Terin sat down across from him, holding her hand out flat. A metal bowl appeared in her hand, its contents half a second later. Smiling, she channeled her solar energy into her palm, superheating the bowl to cook the chicken and noodles in it.

"Show off," he scoffed, turning back to his dinner.

Thoroughly pleased with herself, she set her bowl on the table, digging into her makeshift pad thai. "How long until we hit the Shore?"

"Three days," he gruffed, teeth gnashing into the overcooked Cabal hound. "It'd have taken a couple of hours if  _ someone  _ hadn't ordered a hit on the Derelict." Looking up, his eyes scanned over her body.

"Never gonna let that one go, are you?" she teased, blowing on her food to cool it down. 

The Drifter smirked. "So what's the plan, Hotshot? Gonna waltz in, ask for some fuel, hope he's in a good mood?"

"Something like that."

"And then we just sail off and I what, drop you off with Osiris?"

"After we make a few stops," she answered, slurping down her noodles.

"You're really not going to tell me the plan?"

Svet zipped around. "She hasn't told  _ me  _ the plan. What makes you think  _ you  _ get to know?"

The Drifters eyes narrowed. "Lotta holes in this non-plan plan of yours."

She sat back, bringing her heel up on the seat. "Like?"

"This information you want. I can't give it to you."

"Why not?"

"I told you. It's not my job." He slid his food away, resting his forearms on the table. "As in it's someone else's."

"Whose?"

Drifter shook his head. "Can't tell you that either."

"Helpful," Svet muttered.

"As it  _ happens _ , I was on my way to that very person. But then you went and blew up my damn ship."

Terin rolled her eyes, stabbing a piece of seasoned chicken. "We get the fuel, then you take me to them. I get my answers, then we set course."

He smirked, clicking his tongue. "Not that simple."

"Why not?"

"You really think you can be within sniper's range of Prince Fuckwit and  _ not  _ try to shoot him? Spider won't sell."

"Never said I was buying," Terin countered.

"Thing you're not understanding is that you're gonna have to choose. Find out  _ what  _ you are or go to the outer edge."

She poked at her pad thai, keeping her face neutral. "And why can't I do both?"

"Cause when she shows you how to wield  _ this _ ," he held out his hand, the tips of his fingers slowly covering in ice-like crystals, "You're gonna have bigger problems."

Terin sat forward, examining his hand. "What  _ is  _ that?" 

"Think of it as our little spark of Darkness," he smirked, the crystals disappearing.

"You used it after you  _ drugged  _ me."

"Easy with those accusations. I did  _ exactly  _ what your little buddy Rey wanted."

"She wanted you to knock me out and bind me to your bed?" Terin could hear the rage in her voice, simmering just below the surface.

"She asked me to make sure you didn't do anything stupid. Look at us now," Eli grinned in condescension. 

Svet spun wildly, getting into Eli's face. "I find it hard to believe that the Warlock Vanguard would ask you to hold Terin captive using a crystalized inorganic—"

"It's called Stasis, you nosy little shit," he growled, pushing the Ghost out of his way.

"Stasis?" Terin asked skeptically.

"Think of it like… an  _ alternative  _ class."

"Thought you didn't believe in the classes?"

"I don't," he growled.

"So what, you made your own up?"

He smirked, clicking his tongue. "I'd  _ like  _ to think I was the first. Second ain't bad, I suppose."

"The Hourglass and the Blade," Terin muttered.

"You know, after that little stunt you pulled the other day, I almost see it."

"See what?"

"Why the Nine are so interested. Me? I'm just a survivor. But you…"

"What about me?"

"I told you. You're ahead of your time.  _ Something  _ went wrong before it should have, and now you're…  _ other _ ."

"But you can't tell me," she glared at him.

"Nope."

"You know, for a guy that likes to talk so much, I'd have expected something more from you."

"Sorry to disappoint, Sweetness."

Terin exhaled. "Doubt it'll be the last time," she muttered.

"Gal blows up a guys ship and then insults--"

"Enough about your damn ship!" Terin slammed her fist on the table, eyes narrowing. "I'll get you your fuel, and then you can go on your merry fucking way. Not like you'd ever give a second thought to abandoning--" she cut herself short, the words spilling out before she could stop herself.

Eli froze, eyes darkening as he weighed what she said. "Abandoning who?"

Terin shoved from the table, standing abruptly to leave. "Forget it."

Reaching out, he seized her wrist, pulling her down onto his lap. "You're scared. I can see it in your eyes."

"No--"

"Don't lie," he nearly whispered, the baritone in his voice hardened. "You got pissed and ran. Probably burnt a whole lotta bridge's in the process. Now I'm all that you've got left, and that  _ terrifies  _ you."

"You're not--"

"I didn't have to hear that meeting to know what happened. They're gonna side with a  _ murderer  _ over you."

"That's not--"

"But this ain't about revenge, is it? You  _ already  _ got that. This is something bigger. Something you're hiding."

"I'm not hiding--"

"Doesn't matter. I've  _ seen  _ what you can do. You are stubborn, wreckless, and  _ powerful _ . Dangerous combination. Think I don't  _ watch  _ you in Gambit? Once you make up your mind, there's no stopping you. Win, lose, or draw."

"This  _ isn't  _ a game."

"That we're all pawns in the greater game between the Gardener and the Winnower," he mimicked Ikora.

Terin reached back, slapping him across the face. Pushing away from him, she ripped her wrist free of his grip, reaching for a gun where there was none.

Eli looked up, a slow smirk spreading. " _ That _ , right there," he stood, pointing his finger at her heart. "I can feel it, you know? The Darkness in you."

Terin took an involuntary step back, her Light fading away at his words.

"For  _ years,  _ I convinced myself it was something else. You were  _ too  _ good. Too…  _ holy _ . When you were with Cayde… after he died… it was always there, this  _ magnetism  _ between us. I know you feel it. I can see it in your eyes."

"Stop it," she growled, eyes burning with fury.

"Ever wonder what would happen if you just  _ gave  _ into it? Cause I do."

Terin balled her fists, forcing herself to breathe through the onslaught of feelings. Turning, she fled out of the galley, not daring to look back.

"No reason to get mad at me!" he shouted after her. "I'm the  _ only  _ one that's gonna accept you for whatever in the fuck you are!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... enlight of Beyond Light I am working to try to meld my original plot with the updated lore. It's gonna be bumpy and timelines won't match up as neatly as I'd like... but here we are. The main thing of note is that while Uldren has been spotted the events on the Moon haven't happened.... yet. I can't promise that Terin will do a full raid run or even care about Eramis but she's going to have to get answers here soon... bc frankly I am as confused as she is.

**Author's Note:**

> Understandably this fic is going to be a labor of love, written entirely for fun. I am going to try to keep this as lore/canon-compliant as possible. With Bungie releasing new lore on a regular basis and Season of the Worthy about to wrap (anyone else excited that those Seraph towers finally went up?) it obviously will split from the timeline. 
> 
> While I do my best to keep up with the lore and integrate it into the fic please forgive me if I'm off on a detail or two. Admittedly I binge Byf's videos in the background when I write, saves time when it comes to binging grimoire, so I miss things.
> 
> If any of y'all want to just rant about lore or the grind of the game, in general, you can reach me here: [@crystymre](https://twitter.com/crystymre)


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